My School days Girlfriend Grammar

My School Days Girl-friend Grammar

All of a sudden, Grammy threw her arms around my neck, her head resting on my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of her silent tears rolling down from her eyes

By Mukesh Sharma

A few days ago, I visited US library at K.G. Marg, New Delhi for the renewal of my membership. I was surprised to spot my school days girl-friend Grammar sitting quietly and calmly in the reading hall, engrossed in some book. When I was at school, she was a good friend of mine. She would never indulge in small-talks. She would always preach discipline. All classmates used to respect her a lot. Out of love and respect, I would also call her by a nick name ‘Grammy.’

My School days Girlfriend

The moment ‘Grammy’ caught my sight, she sprang to her feet; she walked up to me and gave me a hug. We sat down for an hour and had warm chit-chat in the light of sweet memories of the past. Here, this blogger shares the excerpts of that interesting talks with his valued readers:

Blogger:

What a great pleasure to see you here Grammy after such a long time! How do you do?

Grammy:

How do I look? You see! A woman is as old as she looks and a man is as old as he feels.

Blogger:

Great! You are an ageless beauty. Even mighty time respects your beauty. And ever yours, I am one of your votaries.

Grammy:

Okay. I am flattered! I am flattered! You writers know how to play with the words. Where and how to use Simile, Metaphor, Hyperbole, Euphemism, Antithesis, Oxymoron, Personification, Apostrophe, Epigram, Irony, Pun and Metonymy.

Blogger:

I have learnt this all from you only. You are my teacher. You are my best friend. I am a writer because of you. To be honest, you are my first love; you are my love-lady.

Grammy:

Frankly speaking, I don’t have very high opinion of men. I have bitter experience with the men. Naked truth is a man loves a woman for sex,  and a woman gives sex for the love of man.  Men are attracted towards women for sheer sexual urge. In the beginning, they make great show of love and affection. They would love to hang out with their girls. After winning her confidence, they use her, they misuse her, they abuse her and at last they disuse her for another body (woman). So is the situation with me (Grammar) also. Once one has good command of the language, Grammar is given good-bye. In US, over 45 per cent women above the age of 50 end up as single. It's a male chauvinist society. I don’t trust man. I enjoy celibacy.

Blogger:

Don’t generalize it. You can’t draw a conclusion on the basis of the behavior of some selfish men. You know, those who understand you, love and respect you the most.

Grammy:

Don’t placate me with your words.

Blogger:

It is not an exaggeration Grammy! It’s truth. You are the epitome of discipline. You teach discipline. You are like nature that teaches nothing but discipline. The sun rises in east; it sets in west. The earth and all the planets revolve around the sun in a synchronized orbit – it is a perfect example of discipline.

You see, Grammar is a crux of life. God has succeeded in creating all planets and stars because He knows the Grammar of universe.

It is the Grammar of the body that brings man and woman close to each other.

Truth is stranger than fiction. Handful of wily netas who are public servants rule over the masters (the public), for, they know the Grammar of Democracy. On the contrary, the public can simply maunder and mumble but can’t do anything, for, it doesn’t understand the Grammar of Politics.

Grammy:

Hold you horses, I am impressed! I am impressed! But, you know, many scholars contend that Grammar is more confusing than comprehensive, and cite reasons:

-          If one studies the grammar from very first chapter to the last, rules are progressively discarded one after the other. There are no hard and fast rules in conventional grammar. It is full of exceptions. So a student remains confused even after studying the whole grammar.

-           It is also silent on the rules of preposition. Why the meaning of a word changes with different preposition e.g. call on, call for, call upon etc.

-          It is also maintained that conventional grammar doesn’t teach sentence making. It teaches one how to correct a sentence, not how to make sentences . . .

Blogger:

These morons know only conventional grammar taught at school level in conformity to colonial education system which is based on rote-learning and it is a corrective grammar only; it teaches to correct the sentence. These so-called scholars have no knowledge of your other parts – Syntactical Grammar that teaches the sentence making and Generative Grammar that teaches to generate the sentences. Those who are acquainted with all the parts, know that Grammar is comprehensive, not confusing.

Further, as far as rule of preposition is concerned, standardized collocations are the answer. English is a language of phrases. Root words/key words pair with other words and produce standardizes collocations and convey different senses. So, no need to go into the rule of preposition.

Grammy:

Well, some find fault even in my eugenics. Scholars cast aspersions and take jibe at me saying English has no grammar of its own. An American Lindley Murray who was  a Latin Scholar and he was of the view that Latin was the most scientific language in the world and it's  grammar could  justify any language. So he just converted the Latin Grammar into English Grammar in 1795. And his book set the precedent for succeeding books on English Grammar.

Blogger:

So what, you know Latin is the direct descendant of Sanskrit. All the European languages are genetically related to Sanskrit only which is looked upon as parent language for all the European languages. So you should take pride in the fact that you are the pampered daughter of Latin, and a great,  great . . . . grand daughter of Sanskrit – a divine language which was fully developed and advanced even 5000 years ago at a time when the world was a savage and even most of the modern languages were non-existent.

Grammy:

Oh my goodness, you know a lot about me. You think a lot about me? Now I can understand your sneaking love for me, right!

Blogger:

I understand only one fact. If you love your children, you must respect their mother. I love English language. So I respect the mother of English language i.e. you Grammy.

Grammy:

So, you have great respect for women!

Blogger:

Of course, like mother-nature, only a woman has power of procreation. Man is a child of woman. His life revolves around woman only. Without woman, this little world of man will cease to exist.

Grammy:

O man, you are a true man. I never knew that you had such warm feelings for me.

Blogger:

That’s not all. I would like to unfold my heart today. You see, I wanted to marry you, but I couldn’t summon the courage to pop the question. I contented myself with the thought: those who can’t be held in arms, can be had in heart. Even today, you live in my heart. You are the queen of my heart.

All of a sudden, Grammy threw her arms around my neck, her head resting on my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of her silent tears rolling down from her eyes. Tears welled in my eyes too. Consoling and comforting her,  I whispered in her ear:

“Worry not honey, the next birth would witness the grand and gala union  of the body and soul. ‘Amen, Amen, Amen’ she blurted out in deep voice echoing from the heart. And with a good-bye kiss, we parted to meet again in the next birth . . .

Sententious Squabble

Sententious Squabble

'The foolish man thinks that he has mind to think. In fact, it is we who make his mind to think'

By Mukesh Sharma

Last week, I visited Central library of Delhi University for some research papers after ages. I was rather surprised to hear a commotion in English from the reading hall. Out of curiosity, I stepped into the hall and flinched at the sight of eight white guys sitting at the table and squabbling over some matter. I recognized them in no time. They were Noun, Pronoun, Adjective, Verb, Adverb, Preposition, Conjunction and Interjection. During my school days, I used to call them Grammar monsters. Surprisingly, there was no change in their physical appearance even after years. Even mighty time couldn’t wither their sheen and serenity. Ducking behind an almirah, I quietly settled in a chair at the corner table just behind them at some distance with a wish to overhear their heated conversation.

Sententious Squabble

Since the Grammar monsters were fully occupied with their boisterous blah-blah, my mind plunged deep into past memories of school days.

In those older days, Noun was a humpty dumpty white skinned, short-statured bespectacled guy. His eyes were little squinted. He was very aggressive and short-tempered. He would always bully others. Native speaker of Hindi and learners of English as a second language would always fear him. He had six hurly burly brothers: Proper Noun, Common Noun, Collective Noun, Abstract Noun, Countable Noun and Uncountable Noun.

Pronoun was a thin and lanky guy. He was very talkative. He would always drop names and make a great show of his acquaintances. He would always claim to have friends at high places.

Adjective was a slim and slick girl with very fair complexion, golden brown long hair, oval cherubic faces with sharp features. She would always use eyes to speak rather than tongue. She was full breasted even at the age of 16. The boys would steal glances and ogle her in the class. She was a vision in white skirt and top. She was the beauty of the class. She looked so divine that the boys were scared of her beauty. All had crush on her, but it was difficult to woo and win her.

Another heart throb of the class was Verb. She was not blonde. Though she was  English, she had wheatish complexion. She looked more like Indian than English, and would easily mix up with the Indian. She would love Indian dress, culture and cuisine. She was a go-getter and very friendly to all. Her smile was very sexy. She would always get the things moving even under the most static unfavorable circumstances.

Adverb was a sober guy with average height. He was soft-spoken. He would never talk non-sense. He was not extrovert. His talks would always carry deep sense and weight. The Native speakers of Hindi had great sense of respect for him.

Preposition was a medium built English guy. Native speakers of Hindi would call him buddy. He was very intelligent. He had cosmopolitan outlook. He was a good counselor. He would always pacify the agitated people even in deep problem.

Conjunction, had leadership quality. He would always bring the warring factions to negotiating table, and settle even gravest dispute. He would never compromise his principle. The native speakers of Hindi had very high opinion of him.

Interjection was a theist. She would believe in power of prayer. She would love to help the needy. In fact, she was an emotional girl. She would always bubble with optimism and confidence. She would always cheer up the people around her. She was a sinew of energy and enthusiasm to all. She would always preach:  enjoy the present, you never know what is next.

All of a sudden a bang on table jolted me back from interesting past to intriguing present. High feverish talks were going on among Grammar monsters. I meekly overheard their talks. Here I wish to share the excerpts with my valued readers and dear students:

Noun:            Guys, be it man or material, each thing in this universe is known by me only. I have given a name to each and everything of this universe. Even the God so-called creator is not beyond my reach. I am a proud Latin – an official language of the Great Romans who had subjugated the most part of Europe – the great ruler. I am second to none.

Pronoun:       Mr. Noun, self-praise is no recommendation. Don’t blow your own trumpets. You see, I am the guy who can replace you. I can function as you. And my eugenic makes me even superior to you – I am proud son of Latin and French parents.

Adjective:      Calm down! Calm down guys. We are in library. You both would accept the fact that I am capable of modifying you. A flower is recognized by it color and fragrance not just by its name. A rose will smell like a rose, even if you change its name. I am a pampered daughter of my Latin and French parents. So come down an earth.

Verb:             You see, the most important thing in this universe is action. I give force to things to move or act. God is not just a noun but an action. Of victory, I am triumph; of body, I am breath; of wind, I am blow; of water, I am flow; of sex, I am cohabitation. Without me, no one will respect noun or pronoun. You are shape. I am a force within. I am also lovely daughter of my Latin and French parents.

Adverb:         Well! Bring the temperature down. I am also here, your close friend. You all know, I am the intensifier. I give greater description to a verb. Even tomorrow is an adverb. I am the future.

Preposition: Don’t waste your breath guys. You know, it is a well acknowledged and acclaimed fact that I govern noun or pronoun. I have power to link noun, pronoun and phrase to other words in a sentence. I am not a bastard like you. I am a pure proud Latin.

Conjunction: No swearing words please. We are in public place. Don’t overlook my constructive role in your life. You can’t erect a building just by the use of bricks. You need mortar to join the brick. And I am the mortar. It is me who puts you at the right place and make you worthy of recognition and  respect. You are nothing without me.

Interjection: Enough is enough! Rise above selfishness and self-praise guys. We all are indispensable parts of a sentence. We have collective identity. You see, head is not body, torso is not body, hands and legs are not body. However, all these essential parts together make the complete body. Mind you, we all are unique creation of Mother Nature.  We have unique identity and unique characteristics qualities. Nothing can replace us from our place in the sentence. It is the sentence that makes a man to think, write and speak. Without us, a man will be an animal. So the Mother Nature is kind enough to bestow on us the undisputed power to rule the psyche of man – so called the most civilized creature in animal kingdom on planet earth. The foolish man thinks that he has mind to think. In fact, it is we who make his mind to think. Cheer up guys!

Generative Grammar

Generative Grammar

'A Generative grammar is a system of analysis usually identified with linguistics. By its means a language can be viewed as a set of rules, finite in numbers that can produce sentences'

By Mukesh Sharma

Broadly speaking, a language is nothing but a group of sentences. If one is able to produce correct sentences, one is said to have learnt the language.

Since the main purpose of studying the Grammar is to learn to understand, write and speak standardized English, and common English grammar fails to teach this in totality, a need of generative grammar is felt.

The Oxford Advance Lerner’s Dictionary describes the term generative grammar as: “a grammar that describes a language by giving a set of rules which can be used to produce all the possible sentences in that language.”

The term generative grammar was first used by linguist Noam Chomsky in United States of America who developed the theory of generative grammar in 1957 – syntactic structures. Throwing light on the subject, Britannica Encyclopedia reveals:

“A generative grammar is a system of analysis usually identified with linguistics. By its means a language can be viewed as a set of rules, finite in number that can produce sentences.”

There was total disagreement among the linguists in accepting any of propagated theories of generative grammar which could be considered “as the best model for the generation of sentences as well as for the description of natural languages.” Moreover, no generative grammar has ever been written which might help the non-native speakers of English language to learn sentence-making without learning the English grammar in detail or doing any translation from mother tongue to English with the help of set rules of commonly used English grammar.

Why should you read this book?

This book of Generative Grammar for English Language is based on the concept of Root Elements. From 0 to 9, there are 10 digits. These 10 digits have given birth to infinite numbers. Seven suras are the basis of all the musical notes ever developed by man. According to Hindu philosophy, all this material world – animate or inanimate, is made up of five Root Elements – Earth, Fire, Air, Water and space. Such parent element can be termed as Root Elements. There can be innumerable superficial and seemingly distinctive probabilities born out of Root Elements. This is applicable to language too. With the help of Root Sentences, one can learn to generate sentences without the hassle of grammar or without doing any translation. One can enjoy the unique experience of sentence-making using root sentences, which are mostly common to all the languages. One can’t think beyond these Root Sentences. The knowledge of Root sentences helps you to generate hundreds of sentences rather playfully on any object or person. The unique features of this book are as follows:

1.     It seeks to help students who wish to learn English as their second language, and want to learn sentence-making without any translation from mother tongue to English or without learning the common English grammar in detail.

2.      It helps you to think directly in English.

3.      It helps you to develop thoughts.

4.      It seeks to help you to write/speak 500 words on any object/person extempore.

5.      It helps you to know traditional grammar without learning it.

Author, sincerely believes that a determined and diligent English language aspirant would find this book worth-reading. Author is confident that the esteemed readers would realize that the book has potential to change the concept of English learning.

The book, a bestseller, is available on Amazon.in. Very soon, it will available as e- book too.

English, as the most Corrupted language in the world

English, as the most Corrupted language in the world

A research work that seeks to unearth the truth about the parentage, birth, development and ensuing natural death of English language which is the most powerful, the most sought-after and the most loved international language today

By Mukesh Sharma

It won’t be wrong to say that English language is analogous to the status of a woman in human society. A woman gets her surname from her husband after marriage. She is known by that surname in the society. Her children carry the surname to the next generation. More or less English has also met the same fate.

People of different tongues have adopted English language. They have moulded it according to their own conveniences and comforts. And that is not all, they have individualized it and have given it their own names.

Consequently, with over 18 variations, scores of dialects, creoles and pidgins, English stands as the most corrupted language in the world. Scholars describe its different ‘varieties’ with portmanteau words such as Hinglish, Singlish, etc.

This blogger and author sincerely believes that the valued readers/students would find the book very interesting  and worth-reading.

 The book, a bestseller, is available on Amazon.in. Very soon, the book would also be available as e-book.

Secrets of Good English

Secrets of Good English

Learn to understand, think, write and speak good English used in English newspaper, Competitive Exams, and in daily life by the English

By Mukesh Sharma

‘English’, says a Hindi medium UPSC aspirant from Bihar (India) sarcastically: “it is not simply a language in India; it is a symbol of status; it is a symbol of class; it is a symbol of intellect; if you don’t know this language, you will be looked upon as a savage.” ”By an estimate, just two per cent people have command over English language, and virtually they call the shots in the country.” he adds further spitefully.

No doubt, the acerbic comments of the student do carry the weight and are not without substance. In fact, it reflects the majority of Hindi medium UPSC aspirants from Hindi heartland with abysmally poor English; they struggle with English like anything at Mukherjee Nagar, north Delhi. “The selection of Hindi medium students is rather negligible in comparison to English medium students in UPSC exams/other administrative services,” reveals a disgruntled student.

True, a mad dash for English-acquisition can be witnessed among government services aspirants. Their number is in legion.

The problem is that the conventional English Grammar doesn’t help in writing/speaking. Translation from mother tongue to English often leads to non-standardized sentences and fractured English Without good vocabulary, one can’t think correctly and write accurately.

Here, this blogger seeks to reveal the secrets of good English through his very well acclaimed and acknowledged book entitled ‘Secrets of Good English’ by Mukesh Sharma, a bestseller and a FIVE STAR rated book on Amazon.in

The salient features of the book are:

1.      How to think in English

The book seeks to help the second language learner of English to think in English that too without translation and hassle of Grammar with the help of 20 ROOT SENTENCES. As all the numbers are born out of 0-9 digits, all sentences also come out of root-sentences. If words are names of things, sentences are actions that occur in time – present, past and future. Based on action, sentences can be divided into four categories – affirmation, interrogation, Negative and Passive. When 20 Root sentence are studied in this way. The total comes out to be 123. It means there are 123 ways to think in English. No English sentence can exist beyond that. If Hindi/Mother tongue is mapped on each English sentence, one is able to make his/her mind to think in English directly- no ongoing mental translation process.

2.      Know grammar without learning

Of 123 sentences, each sentence has a syntactical formula i.e. grammatical arrangement of the words in a sentence. So, while making sentences, one learns grammatical rules without learning it.

3.      English, a language of phrases

The English language, expertise lies in the knowledge that which ‘verb’ pairs with which ‘noun’ e.g. wear belt etc., and which adjective goes with which noun e.g. incessant rain etc. Thus the words make standardized collocations, and it makes the basis of good English or standardized English The book discusses such collocations which are based on root words/key words at length. It, dramatically, augments the vocabulary used in English newspaper, competitive exam and in daily life by the English.

4.      English for life

The problem with the majority of students is that they study English as a subject to pass out 100^th or 12^th that too through rote-learning. They don’t study it as a language which is a part of life – human life, society, politics, nature, religion, God, and universe. Unless one has the knowledge of words related to different aspects of life, one can never acquire the practical knowledge of English language. And the prime purpose of English paper of all the competitive exams is to gauze the practical knowledge of English of the candidates. This book discusses the words related to different aspect of life – right from birth to death. If you don’t have words, you can never have thoughts.

If you are confused, not able to understand, write and speak good English even after BA/MA, and have tried several institutions/books to master English, you must read this book.

This blogger and author of the book sincerely believes that the valued readers/students would find the book very useful. Take it from me, the book has potential to change the world of your English language. The book can be purchased from Amazon.in.

BUY YOUR COPY NOW

https://www.amazon.in/Secrets-Good-English-Mukesh-Sharma/dp/818974500X

Of English Language Comprehension

Of English Language Comprehension

Linguistically speaking, the question asked in exams based on heard or written speech is a test of practical understanding of English language – how quickly one grasps and how correctly one answers

By Mukesh Sharma

Be it academic or competitive exams for various government services in India, the question on comprehension is very common and compulsory. It is a test to assess the understanding of the students regarding English language; it is a test of quick grasping of the subject matter discussed; it is a test of vocabulary; it is a test of syntax; it is a test of knowledge of grammatical rules; it is a test of self-expression.

Of English Language Comprehension

Broadly speaking, comprehension is an exercise that trains students to understand a language, and it also tests the understanding of the students regarding a language. It can be divided into two categories:

1. Listening Comprehension

2. Reading Comprehension 

Listening Comprehension (LC)

It is a test of the ability of the students to grasp the message quickly when it is read out to him/her, and answer the questions set out on the message. Usually, when something is read out in native tongue, one grasps it in no time. For instance, a native speaker of Hindi can understand a Hindi song even with varied pitch, beat or tone. But when it comes to second language (English), he/she faces problem in understanding even the simple words because of unacquainted pronunciation and the problem becomes serious when a native speaker of English speaks. Hindi speaking people are not able to understand English songs completely without the written lyrics – the root cause of the problem is accent. However, English is such a language that has many variations – American English, British English, Canadian English, Australian English, Indian English, etc. It won’t be wrong to say that there is no standardized pronunciation of a particular word in English or there is no standardization accent. What is more, each variation is governed by its own grammar. For instance, American English doesn’t use ‘helping verbs’ like ‘does’, ‘shall’, etc.:

He don’t like it (AE)

He doesn’t like it (BE)

I shall attend party (BE)

I will attend party (AE)

Furthermore, Bill Bryson, an American journalist and the author of The Mother Tongue says:

There are over 4000 words which have common spellings; same pronunciation, but different meanings in both the countries – America and Britain.

For instance, the word ‘fanny’ means buttock (in AE) and Vagina (in BE), ‘knock up’ means get pregnant (in AE) and wake up call (in BE) etc. Surprisingly enough, American English sounds different even to native speaker of English from Britain. A great litterateur G.B. Shaw makes a Ironic comment:

US and UK are the two countries divided by the common language

In fact, the listening comprehension (LC) depends on how one recognizes a word through the sound of its pronunciation as one recognizes one’s near and dear by the distinctive sound of their voice. So a non- native of speaker must listen to native speaker of English to get himself/herself used to the distinctive sound of pronunciation of the words, and that leads to understanding of the accent too. As far as English language is concerned, a non-native speaker of English must watch CNN, BBC, and other English programme including movies. Very recently, a video grab of a 12 year old Haryana (India) girl went viral where she was shown speaking English with American and British accent. When she was asked how she learnt it, she said: “I have picked it up by listening and studying the accent of native speakers of English."

Furthermore, the test of listening comprehension (LC) is also one of the compulsory questions in IELTS (International English language Testing System) and TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign language) where the students who wish to study abroad or in some foreign university in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, United Kingdom (England, Welsh, Ireland & Scotland), and USA, are made to listen a recorded speech, and they are asked to answer the questions based on heard speech. In IELTS, the recorded speech may be played in one of different accents e.g. American, British, Canadian, etc., while in TOEFL, it is American accent only.

Reading Comprehension

How one comprehends a written text in English. Linguistically speaking, the question on written text or unseen passage in the exams, is a test of practical understanding of English language- how quickly one grasps and how correctly one answers the question based on that. It depends on one’s ability to recognize the words through their distinctive shape as one is able to recognize his/her very close acquaintances by their body shape and gait even from some distance in the dark. In the mind of well-read man, a discernible shape of each written word is stored in the form of a picture. Just a cursory glance of a particular written word makes the shape of the word complete in the mind. This is how a trained and qualified chemist is able to read even an scribbled prescription of a doctor. Thus such pictorial memory of the mind, makes one read the written text faster than an ordinary reader. So, to pass out the test of reading comprehension one must develop good reading habit. Read as much as one can the different material on variety of subjects. With the practice, one can increase the speed of reading a book up to 60 pages per hour. Of course, it takes time to develop the pictorial memory.

In common parlance, the question on reading comprehension in exams is also known as question on unseen passage. It is common in most of the competitive exams for government services in India, particularly, in Banks Probationary Officers including IELTS and TOEFL. The students with poor English find the question rather challenging. The common complaint is that the passage was very tough; English was very difficult; students were not able to catch even main idea. Majority of students with poor knowledge of English, also find the question time- consuming. Though there is no format, and no rote-learning works, here this blogger seeks to suggest the easiest way to attempt the question successfully even with not-so-good English:

1^st step

Read the passage as quickly as possible so as to grasp the main idea, read for the message not for sentences or words.

2^nd step

Read the questions set on the passage one by one.

3^rd step

Re-read the passage carefully and underline the sentences/words that may be related directly or indirectly to given questions.

4^th step

Read questions once again

5^th step

Re-read the passage and look at the marked/underlined sentences/words, carefully.

6^th step

Start answering the question in your own words based on underlined sentences in the passage; no patch work.

Mind you, only a well-read student would be comfortable  in answering the question on unseen passage. However, good reading-habit and good practice can improve the reading comprehension. Nothing is difficult, if one is determined to do it – an attempt always paves the way to solution of a problem.