An Ode to Pappu

An Ode to Pappu

Strange law of nature and country,

Some rise by gravity, some fall by levity

By Mukesh Sharma

Chubby fair face,

A dimple on cheek,

Pappu, a quality hybrid,

Of Indo-Italian breed.

Kurta-pyjama clad,

Walks one hand in pocket.

Dada Firoz, Maa Christian,

But he’s Janau-dhari Pandit.

Known in the world,

For doing nothing.

Thinks a little,

Before uttering something.

His Mama's Baby

He recants and raves,

Unmindful of wrong or right,

He’s his mama’s ‘son’,

With flickering light.

He knows nothing,

About rhetoric or ethics,

But has mastered the art,

To lie through teeth.

With little knowledge,

Whatever he says.

Fondly it becomes,

Joke of the day.

Though just an MP,

His pile in crores.

Out on bail himself,

Calls Chowkidar Chor.

His mama’s most,

Pampered baby.

Boasts and bluffs,

Babble s like a crazy.

Battery of tutors,

Teach him ropes,

Still people feel,

He’s little hope.

He topped the exam,

As a single candidate,

Today of a family party,

He’s a preferential president.

Breathing for its chief,

His party sneeze and squeeze,

Above all dissension,

And discussion, he is.

His family members,

Do dribble and drool.

People of India,

Are nothing but fool.

His mama’s dearest wish,

And hearty pray.

May Pappu  become,

PM one day.

Strange laws,

Of nature and country.

Some rise by gravity,

Some fall by levity.

Farting Netas

(Humour)

Farting Netas

A neta can stoop to any extent to win the farting competition; when arguments cease farts begin

By Mukesh Sharma

Though all the Homo sapiens make wind and that everyone knows, exits from the right place, a neta is an advanced version of man, and he can fart not only from natural hole provided by the nature but also from the mouth. Over the years, the stock of such ‘super human’ neta is on the rise, particularly, in India.

Some fart like the hiss of a snake. It is a warning to stay away; the next move is to squirt deadly poison. Some fart like the sputter of fire-crackers. It is like a caution to be careful; a pre-emptive strike. Some fart loud like the sound of bugle; it is like declaration of a war on the adamant adversaries who are supposedly, responsible for their present pitiable plight from good to bad. The most dangerous of all these farting netas, is the one who while farting, doesn’t make any sound and releases such an ‘evil’ smell that can send millions into concussion without the aid of anesthesia.

Farting Neta

A neta has a phenomenal farting capacity. He can chew and fart out at the same time; a divine digestive powers! His fart is more threatening than gunfire; the bark is more harmful than bite. Unlike a common man, a neta can fart at anytime and at any place as per his convenience and comfort; he is ever ready like a terrorist who waits the chances to sabotage. A common man can face police, ED, CBI or any other agency but not the fear of fart of a neta.

To a neta, the best place to fart is the Press Conference. Whenever, he has an urge, he calls the press conference; TV channels and newspapers are always ready to get the whiff of the fart of a celebrated neta; a good fart is the staple diet of the media, for, it adds to TRP (television rating point).

Yet another right place for the fart is the rally where the people from underclass gather in return for cash and kind; it is a mobile crowd; one day it may be with one neta and the other day with another. Anyway, it helps a neta to create an illusory perception that he is a popular neta. What a neta doesn’t understand is a neta is temporary but the people are permanent.

The world over, India is known as a country of festivals – from Holi through Eid and Christmas to Kumbh Mela. But all these festivals are for the commoners. So-called hon’ble netas celebrate a very special festival that is called Fart Festival. Unlike the festivals of common people, which fall on fixed day every year, it comes after every five years. It is celebrated by the netas with all fury and fervor, for; it can make or mar the future of a neta.

This year, the much awaited fart Festival is being celebrated in five states in India –  Madhya Pradesh, Rajasthan, Chhattisgarh, Mizoram & Telangana; assembly elections are due in the states this year.

Netas of all political hues are on the pitch; they think that their quality farts can get them to a seat of power to loot and boot people for five years. So a fierce competition is going on for the farts to demolish and discredit the opponents; the competition seems tougher than UPSC exam.

Succeed by hook or crook is the buzzword. A neta can stoop to any extent to win this fart competition; when arguments cease farts begin.

Though there is no dearth of good ‘fartmen’ in any political party, the so called Indian National Congress is the frontrunner; divested of power after 70 long years, it (INC) has lost its mental balance; bereft of real issues, it has allegedly started manufacturing lies with concoction and conspiracy to nail down PM Modi, the most ‘feared’ man by the opposition as ‘animals’ fear the lion in jungle.

Happy in the knowledge that India is the largest democracy in the world, and Indian constitution provides the guarantee for Freedom of Expression (Act 19), netas think they can ‘defecate’ and ‘piss’ anywhere as they want.

Mani Shankar Aiyar, a seasoned neta of Congress, decrepit by age  calls Hon’ble PM Modi “neech” (a man of base origin). A Congress MLA Praneeti Shinde (daughter of Sushil Shinde, the former Home Minister in UPA Government)  calls  Modi “Dengue Mosquito”. A protégé of  Rahul Gandhi and Vadgam (Gujrat) MLA, Jignesh Mewani crosses all the limit and calls PM “namak haram”. Angrez of India and so called Hon’ble MP Shashi Tharoor never loses the opportunity to use ‘invectives’ against PM Modi since the initiation of Criminal proceedings in “Sunanda Murder Case.” To top all, the “loose tongue” “Pappu” calls Modi “chor”.

 People know the truth about these farting netas. Farting netas have nothing to do with national or public interest. They fart rigorously and vigorously for self-preservation and self-aggrandizement. In fact, all these fartmen are scared of mystic Modi – a Yogi who knows how to control the ‘wind’, breathe in and breathe out. He knows how to romp a race.

Wondrous Boy, The ‘Champion of the Earth’

(Humour)

Wondrous Boy

The ‘Champion of the Earth’

By Mukesh Sharma

W

ith all the elements of exclamations, his life story reads like the pep talks from the book Self Help by Samuel Smiles; it sounds like the contents of Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russel; it reflects the spirit of Ends and Means by Aldous Huxley; it shows the social philosophy of Capital by Karl Marx; it appears like the deft political moves of Chanakya Niti by Acharya Chanakya; it seems like the actions of the Prince  by Niccolo Machiavelli; his well calculated calm against the jibes of political opponents reminds one of the Gita of Lord Krishna.

His intriguing story reads like a travelogue from tea to top; from self to a son of soil; from nonentity to national figure; from RSS pracharak to Prime Minister; from State leader to Statesman.

After incipient FIASCOS, he is a man of scores of FIRSTS.  He was made an accused FIRST for 2002 Gujrat riots and later exculpated by the Supreme Court. He was anointed as chief Minister of Gujrat FIRST and an elected MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly) later in 2001. He became PM designate FIRST and an MP (Member of Parliament) later when he sweeped the general election in 2014. He is the FIRST junior BJP leader who has sidelined his seniors against hierarchy rule.

Wondrous Boy

He is the FIRST the most followed Indian leader on twitter (34.6 millions). He is the FIRST Indian politician who interacted with the netizens on live chat on Google Hangout on August 31, 2012.

He is the FIRST Indian leader who has influenced and persuaded Hon’ble Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman to go for a magnificent Hindu temple in Riyad, usually, an unheard and unwelcome idea in Muslim States.

He is the FIRST PM who has inked deal for S-400 missile system with elated 56 inch chest with Russia despite the raised eyebrows of US, a devil diplomacy.

He is the FIRST Indian leader who inspired UN General Assembly to declare 21 June as International Day for Yoga and made the world feel and realize the importance of the ancient science of India.

He is the FIRST PM who announced on TV channels the demonetization of Rs500 and Rs1000 currency notes, and declared it invalid tenders to wipe off black money, though it is a moot point in the so called intelligentsia.

Despite all the obstructionist approaches of opposition, he is the FIRST PM who has stuck to his “One Nation, and One Tax”, and has brought GST (Goods & service Tax) in force.

He is the FIRST PM who has challenged the ever bullying bigots, and has gone against the age old apocryphal practice of TRIPLE TALAQ, a disgrace to women folk and assertion of male-chauvinism, and has managed to declare it a cognizable crime now, well against so called Islamic canonical laws  ̶  Shariat and Hadees, much to the chagrin of some  self-styled  netas and vested interests.

He is the FIRST BJP leader who has made it possible to form BJP government in 19 states, after squeezing the ‘divine’ right and rectitude of Congress that has ruled and allegedly “ruined” India where over 50% populace is still below the poverty line, even after 72 years of independence. When India got independence in 1947, China was said to be lagging behind by 60 years but today China is, supposedly, 100 years ahead.

He is the FIRST leader who has forced his opponents to kneel down and allegedly,  seek the help of arch-enemy Pakistan and diplomatic foe China to defeat him in upcoming general election, a political maneuver lesser known to gullible populace.

He is the FIRST BJP leader who has given splitting headache to ‘Gandhis’, seemingly disturbed by his astute design and demagogy, and has made the Scion of Gandhi family to copy his modus Vivendi and modus oprandi  ̶   temple hopping, Mansarovar Yatra,  foreign jaunts to meet and greet Indians diaspora and so on.

He is the FIRST leader who is a fashion icon and makes style statements with his half-sleeves kurta and churidaar pyjama, an elegant but simple sartorial sense.

He is the FIRST Indian leader who has given hugs to the most of the powerful leaders of the world, and has, amusingly, been rated by US media as a “big hugger.”

As a workaholic, he is the FIRST PM who has not taken a single day leave and has worked 18 hours a day in his four and half years of tenure as a PM.

He is the FIRST PM whose kins live in wants at their ancestral  house in Gujrat. He has never mixed his public life with his private life, in contrast, to the most of the kins of netas who  make their pile just in 5 years, once they come to power, and still an, adamantly, single man is surprisingly being singled out for alleged corruption in certain deal for no apparent reason.

Since Election Commission has announced the dates of election in 5 states (Madhya Pradesh, Chhattisgarh, Mizoram, Rajasthan and Telangana) in upcoming November 2018, opposition leaders like wolves are out to hunt down the ‘lion’  (his supporters euphemistically call him lion). But they (opposition leaders) intuitively know that it will not be a cakewalk. Bereft of the issue, opposition leaders are busy in girding up their loin and riding up sleeves by spreading alleged lies.  And to the utter disbelief, dismay and distress of the opposition, now he has become the ‘Champion of the Earth’ before the opposition gets wind of his latest achievement (The award was announced on September 26, 2018 on the sidelines of 73^rd UN general Assembly in New York).

If the events continue to roll like that his opponents who are in jittery, believe he may soon become the ‘Champion of the Universe’. No doubt, the ‘world’ is perturbed and perplexed by the mindboggling feats of the FIRST of the Wondrous Boy,  the Champion of the Earth.