My School days Girlfriend Grammar

My School Days Girl-friend Grammar

All of a sudden, Grammy threw her arms around my neck, her head resting on my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of her silent tears rolling down from her eyes

By Mukesh Sharma

A few days ago, I visited US library at K.G. Marg, New Delhi for the renewal of my membership. I was surprised to spot my school days girl-friend Grammar sitting quietly and calmly in the reading hall, engrossed in some book. When I was at school, she was a good friend of mine. She would never indulge in small-talks. She would always preach discipline. All classmates used to respect her a lot. Out of love and respect, I would also call her by a nick name ‘Grammy.’

My School days Girlfriend

The moment ‘Grammy’ caught my sight, she sprang to her feet; she walked up to me and gave me a hug. We sat down for an hour and had warm chit-chat in the light of sweet memories of the past. Here, this blogger shares the excerpts of that interesting talks with his valued readers:

Blogger:

What a great pleasure to see you here Grammy after such a long time! How do you do?

Grammy:

How do I look? You see! A woman is as old as she looks and a man is as old as he feels.

Blogger:

Great! You are an ageless beauty. Even mighty time respects your beauty. And ever yours, I am one of your votaries.

Grammy:

Okay. I am flattered! I am flattered! You writers know how to play with the words. Where and how to use Simile, Metaphor, Hyperbole, Euphemism, Antithesis, Oxymoron, Personification, Apostrophe, Epigram, Irony, Pun and Metonymy.

Blogger:

I have learnt this all from you only. You are my teacher. You are my best friend. I am a writer because of you. To be honest, you are my first love; you are my love-lady.

Grammy:

Frankly speaking, I don’t have very high opinion of men. I have bitter experience with the men. Naked truth is a man loves a woman for sex,  and a woman gives sex for the love of man.  Men are attracted towards women for sheer sexual urge. In the beginning, they make great show of love and affection. They would love to hang out with their girls. After winning her confidence, they use her, they misuse her, they abuse her and at last they disuse her for another body (woman). So is the situation with me (Grammar) also. Once one has good command of the language, Grammar is given good-bye. In US, over 45 per cent women above the age of 50 end up as single. It's a male chauvinist society. I don’t trust man. I enjoy celibacy.

Blogger:

Don’t generalize it. You can’t draw a conclusion on the basis of the behavior of some selfish men. You know, those who understand you, love and respect you the most.

Grammy:

Don’t placate me with your words.

Blogger:

It is not an exaggeration Grammy! It’s truth. You are the epitome of discipline. You teach discipline. You are like nature that teaches nothing but discipline. The sun rises in east; it sets in west. The earth and all the planets revolve around the sun in a synchronized orbit – it is a perfect example of discipline.

You see, Grammar is a crux of life. God has succeeded in creating all planets and stars because He knows the Grammar of universe.

It is the Grammar of the body that brings man and woman close to each other.

Truth is stranger than fiction. Handful of wily netas who are public servants rule over the masters (the public), for, they know the Grammar of Democracy. On the contrary, the public can simply maunder and mumble but can’t do anything, for, it doesn’t understand the Grammar of Politics.

Grammy:

Hold you horses, I am impressed! I am impressed! But, you know, many scholars contend that Grammar is more confusing than comprehensive, and cite reasons:

-          If one studies the grammar from very first chapter to the last, rules are progressively discarded one after the other. There are no hard and fast rules in conventional grammar. It is full of exceptions. So a student remains confused even after studying the whole grammar.

-           It is also silent on the rules of preposition. Why the meaning of a word changes with different preposition e.g. call on, call for, call upon etc.

-          It is also maintained that conventional grammar doesn’t teach sentence making. It teaches one how to correct a sentence, not how to make sentences . . .

Blogger:

These morons know only conventional grammar taught at school level in conformity to colonial education system which is based on rote-learning and it is a corrective grammar only; it teaches to correct the sentence. These so-called scholars have no knowledge of your other parts – Syntactical Grammar that teaches the sentence making and Generative Grammar that teaches to generate the sentences. Those who are acquainted with all the parts, know that Grammar is comprehensive, not confusing.

Further, as far as rule of preposition is concerned, standardized collocations are the answer. English is a language of phrases. Root words/key words pair with other words and produce standardizes collocations and convey different senses. So, no need to go into the rule of preposition.

Grammy:

Well, some find fault even in my eugenics. Scholars cast aspersions and take jibe at me saying English has no grammar of its own. An American Lindley Murray who was  a Latin Scholar and he was of the view that Latin was the most scientific language in the world and it's  grammar could  justify any language. So he just converted the Latin Grammar into English Grammar in 1795. And his book set the precedent for succeeding books on English Grammar.

Blogger:

So what, you know Latin is the direct descendant of Sanskrit. All the European languages are genetically related to Sanskrit only which is looked upon as parent language for all the European languages. So you should take pride in the fact that you are the pampered daughter of Latin, and a great,  great . . . . grand daughter of Sanskrit – a divine language which was fully developed and advanced even 5000 years ago at a time when the world was a savage and even most of the modern languages were non-existent.

Grammy:

Oh my goodness, you know a lot about me. You think a lot about me? Now I can understand your sneaking love for me, right!

Blogger:

I understand only one fact. If you love your children, you must respect their mother. I love English language. So I respect the mother of English language i.e. you Grammy.

Grammy:

So, you have great respect for women!

Blogger:

Of course, like mother-nature, only a woman has power of procreation. Man is a child of woman. His life revolves around woman only. Without woman, this little world of man will cease to exist.

Grammy:

O man, you are a true man. I never knew that you had such warm feelings for me.

Blogger:

That’s not all. I would like to unfold my heart today. You see, I wanted to marry you, but I couldn’t summon the courage to pop the question. I contented myself with the thought: those who can’t be held in arms, can be had in heart. Even today, you live in my heart. You are the queen of my heart.

All of a sudden, Grammy threw her arms around my neck, her head resting on my shoulder. I could feel the warmth of her silent tears rolling down from her eyes. Tears welled in my eyes too. Consoling and comforting her,  I whispered in her ear:

“Worry not honey, the next birth would witness the grand and gala union  of the body and soul. ‘Amen, Amen, Amen’ she blurted out in deep voice echoing from the heart. And with a good-bye kiss, we parted to meet again in the next birth . . .

Sententious Squabble

Sententious Squabble

'The foolish man thinks that he has mind to think. In fact, it is we who make his mind to think'

By Mukesh Sharma

Last week, I visited Central library of Delhi University for some research papers after ages. I was rather surprised to hear a commotion in English from the reading hall. Out of curiosity, I stepped into the hall and flinched at the sight of eight white guys sitting at the table and squabbling over some matter. I recognized them in no time. They were Noun, Pronoun, Adjective, Verb, Adverb, Preposition, Conjunction and Interjection. During my school days, I used to call them Grammar monsters. Surprisingly, there was no change in their physical appearance even after years. Even mighty time couldn’t wither their sheen and serenity. Ducking behind an almirah, I quietly settled in a chair at the corner table just behind them at some distance with a wish to overhear their heated conversation.

Sententious Squabble

Since the Grammar monsters were fully occupied with their boisterous blah-blah, my mind plunged deep into past memories of school days.

In those older days, Noun was a humpty dumpty white skinned, short-statured bespectacled guy. His eyes were little squinted. He was very aggressive and short-tempered. He would always bully others. Native speaker of Hindi and learners of English as a second language would always fear him. He had six hurly burly brothers: Proper Noun, Common Noun, Collective Noun, Abstract Noun, Countable Noun and Uncountable Noun.

Pronoun was a thin and lanky guy. He was very talkative. He would always drop names and make a great show of his acquaintances. He would always claim to have friends at high places.

Adjective was a slim and slick girl with very fair complexion, golden brown long hair, oval cherubic faces with sharp features. She would always use eyes to speak rather than tongue. She was full breasted even at the age of 16. The boys would steal glances and ogle her in the class. She was a vision in white skirt and top. She was the beauty of the class. She looked so divine that the boys were scared of her beauty. All had crush on her, but it was difficult to woo and win her.

Another heart throb of the class was Verb. She was not blonde. Though she was  English, she had wheatish complexion. She looked more like Indian than English, and would easily mix up with the Indian. She would love Indian dress, culture and cuisine. She was a go-getter and very friendly to all. Her smile was very sexy. She would always get the things moving even under the most static unfavorable circumstances.

Adverb was a sober guy with average height. He was soft-spoken. He would never talk non-sense. He was not extrovert. His talks would always carry deep sense and weight. The Native speakers of Hindi had great sense of respect for him.

Preposition was a medium built English guy. Native speakers of Hindi would call him buddy. He was very intelligent. He had cosmopolitan outlook. He was a good counselor. He would always pacify the agitated people even in deep problem.

Conjunction, had leadership quality. He would always bring the warring factions to negotiating table, and settle even gravest dispute. He would never compromise his principle. The native speakers of Hindi had very high opinion of him.

Interjection was a theist. She would believe in power of prayer. She would love to help the needy. In fact, she was an emotional girl. She would always bubble with optimism and confidence. She would always cheer up the people around her. She was a sinew of energy and enthusiasm to all. She would always preach:  enjoy the present, you never know what is next.

All of a sudden a bang on table jolted me back from interesting past to intriguing present. High feverish talks were going on among Grammar monsters. I meekly overheard their talks. Here I wish to share the excerpts with my valued readers and dear students:

Noun:            Guys, be it man or material, each thing in this universe is known by me only. I have given a name to each and everything of this universe. Even the God so-called creator is not beyond my reach. I am a proud Latin – an official language of the Great Romans who had subjugated the most part of Europe – the great ruler. I am second to none.

Pronoun:       Mr. Noun, self-praise is no recommendation. Don’t blow your own trumpets. You see, I am the guy who can replace you. I can function as you. And my eugenic makes me even superior to you – I am proud son of Latin and French parents.

Adjective:      Calm down! Calm down guys. We are in library. You both would accept the fact that I am capable of modifying you. A flower is recognized by it color and fragrance not just by its name. A rose will smell like a rose, even if you change its name. I am a pampered daughter of my Latin and French parents. So come down an earth.

Verb:             You see, the most important thing in this universe is action. I give force to things to move or act. God is not just a noun but an action. Of victory, I am triumph; of body, I am breath; of wind, I am blow; of water, I am flow; of sex, I am cohabitation. Without me, no one will respect noun or pronoun. You are shape. I am a force within. I am also lovely daughter of my Latin and French parents.

Adverb:         Well! Bring the temperature down. I am also here, your close friend. You all know, I am the intensifier. I give greater description to a verb. Even tomorrow is an adverb. I am the future.

Preposition: Don’t waste your breath guys. You know, it is a well acknowledged and acclaimed fact that I govern noun or pronoun. I have power to link noun, pronoun and phrase to other words in a sentence. I am not a bastard like you. I am a pure proud Latin.

Conjunction: No swearing words please. We are in public place. Don’t overlook my constructive role in your life. You can’t erect a building just by the use of bricks. You need mortar to join the brick. And I am the mortar. It is me who puts you at the right place and make you worthy of recognition and  respect. You are nothing without me.

Interjection: Enough is enough! Rise above selfishness and self-praise guys. We all are indispensable parts of a sentence. We have collective identity. You see, head is not body, torso is not body, hands and legs are not body. However, all these essential parts together make the complete body. Mind you, we all are unique creation of Mother Nature.  We have unique identity and unique characteristics qualities. Nothing can replace us from our place in the sentence. It is the sentence that makes a man to think, write and speak. Without us, a man will be an animal. So the Mother Nature is kind enough to bestow on us the undisputed power to rule the psyche of man – so called the most civilized creature in animal kingdom on planet earth. The foolish man thinks that he has mind to think. In fact, it is we who make his mind to think. Cheer up guys!

Secrets of Good English

Secrets of Good English

Learn to understand, think, write and speak good English used in English newspaper, Competitive Exams, and in daily life by the English

By Mukesh Sharma

‘English’, says a Hindi medium UPSC aspirant from Bihar (India) sarcastically: “it is not simply a language in India; it is a symbol of status; it is a symbol of class; it is a symbol of intellect; if you don’t know this language, you will be looked upon as a savage.” ”By an estimate, just two per cent people have command over English language, and virtually they call the shots in the country.” he adds further spitefully.

No doubt, the acerbic comments of the student do carry the weight and are not without substance. In fact, it reflects the majority of Hindi medium UPSC aspirants from Hindi heartland with abysmally poor English; they struggle with English like anything at Mukherjee Nagar, north Delhi. “The selection of Hindi medium students is rather negligible in comparison to English medium students in UPSC exams/other administrative services,” reveals a disgruntled student.

True, a mad dash for English-acquisition can be witnessed among government services aspirants. Their number is in legion.

The problem is that the conventional English Grammar doesn’t help in writing/speaking. Translation from mother tongue to English often leads to non-standardized sentences and fractured English Without good vocabulary, one can’t think correctly and write accurately.

Here, this blogger seeks to reveal the secrets of good English through his very well acclaimed and acknowledged book entitled ‘Secrets of Good English’ by Mukesh Sharma, a bestseller and a FIVE STAR rated book on Amazon.in

The salient features of the book are:

1.      How to think in English

The book seeks to help the second language learner of English to think in English that too without translation and hassle of Grammar with the help of 20 ROOT SENTENCES. As all the numbers are born out of 0-9 digits, all sentences also come out of root-sentences. If words are names of things, sentences are actions that occur in time – present, past and future. Based on action, sentences can be divided into four categories – affirmation, interrogation, Negative and Passive. When 20 Root sentence are studied in this way. The total comes out to be 123. It means there are 123 ways to think in English. No English sentence can exist beyond that. If Hindi/Mother tongue is mapped on each English sentence, one is able to make his/her mind to think in English directly- no ongoing mental translation process.

2.      Know grammar without learning

Of 123 sentences, each sentence has a syntactical formula i.e. grammatical arrangement of the words in a sentence. So, while making sentences, one learns grammatical rules without learning it.

3.      English, a language of phrases

The English language, expertise lies in the knowledge that which ‘verb’ pairs with which ‘noun’ e.g. wear belt etc., and which adjective goes with which noun e.g. incessant rain etc. Thus the words make standardized collocations, and it makes the basis of good English or standardized English The book discusses such collocations which are based on root words/key words at length. It, dramatically, augments the vocabulary used in English newspaper, competitive exam and in daily life by the English.

4.      English for life

The problem with the majority of students is that they study English as a subject to pass out 100^th or 12^th that too through rote-learning. They don’t study it as a language which is a part of life – human life, society, politics, nature, religion, God, and universe. Unless one has the knowledge of words related to different aspects of life, one can never acquire the practical knowledge of English language. And the prime purpose of English paper of all the competitive exams is to gauze the practical knowledge of English of the candidates. This book discusses the words related to different aspect of life – right from birth to death. If you don’t have words, you can never have thoughts.

If you are confused, not able to understand, write and speak good English even after BA/MA, and have tried several institutions/books to master English, you must read this book.

This blogger and author of the book sincerely believes that the valued readers/students would find the book very useful. Take it from me, the book has potential to change the world of your English language. The book can be purchased from Amazon.in.

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https://www.amazon.in/Secrets-Good-English-Mukesh-Sharma/dp/818974500X

Sentence- framing, Key to Good Writing

Sentence- framing, Key to Good Writing

Writing is like drawing water from well; more one draws the water, more it gets clear and clean

By Mukesh Sharma

The sentence-framing should not be confused with sentence-making. Based on translation from mother tongue/first language to English, the sentence- making is taught to students who learn English as a second language, through tenses and modals at school level. Though dependent on basic rules of sentence- making, the sentence framing is a syntactical ability of the writer to couch thoughts into suitable sentences, and draw a pen-portrait for the visualization of the scene and to enable the readers to feel the described situations. The Grammarians call it ‘composition’ or ‘synthesis’.

Be it a student or an ordinary educated person, sentence-framing is the most common problem. One can afford to speak badly but can’t take liberty with the written sentences. If one has confusion about the meaning of a word/ phrase, one can look it up in dictionary. If one has confusion about the correctness of a sentence, no dictionary is available to verify the correctness of the sentence. The most of the student-writers make the serious syntactical errors, and continue to drag it on even without the knowledge of its incorrectness.

Confusion over sentence-framing

The best way to learn sentence-framing is to read at least two English newspapers seriously daily without fail. It gives the idea to describe the same event/ incident in two different ways. To a learner, imitation is the easiest way to learn an ‘art’. Apart from sense, an avid reader must study the sentence-framing used by the scribe / journo in the newspapers for writing Headline, News stories, Editorials, Feature, Articles and Commentative writes -up.   

Before actual sentence-framing is discussed, it is inevitable to know how the mind reacts to the acquisition of a second language. Mother tongue is picked up through repeated hearing, and relating the words / sentences to things and situations that too without the knowledge of grammar. Of course, English can be picked up, if one lives among native speakers. This blogger has met scores of men/ women from Punjab settled in UK/US. They speak English with British/ US accent although they don’t know to write or read. It is easier to pick up a language than to learn as one picks up to sing a song like the singer even without the knowledge of ragas or suras just by repeatedly listening. Hearing and reading are the modes to pick up a language that further helps to read and write.

Moreover, right from first standard to PG level, students read number of text-books prescribed in syllabus. During this academic pursuit, the mind is fed with the great number of sentences, and whenever, a student sits down to write something, mind starts ‘supplying’ the readymade sentences which are already there in the mind. It doesn’t make any new sentence. If an attempt is made to think and make a new sentence, the mind makes it through translation from Hindi to English. So, the need is to feed the mind with the standardized sentences related to different situations of life to write well, as much as possible. 

However, to be a good writer, one must know how to mould sentences according to the need of thoughts, and here comes the sentence-framing. All the writers use THREE TYPES OF SENTENCES to express their thoughts.

1.   Simple sentence: A sentence which has one subject and one predicate with one finite verb.

Simple sentences are short and emphatic. It helps to create a staccato effect. It is used for clarity and emphasis. Besides children story books, it is extensively used in poetic expressions. Here are a few examples:

i.)    He was injured. He couldn’t walk.

ii.)    We are not alone. There is moon. There are trees. There is wind. Over and above, there is God.

iii.)    Making tea in kitchen, she burns her fingers

-    Born and brought up in a village, she was unknown to tea.

-    Learning English is not difficult.

-    (using participles)

-    Hinduism, one of the oldest religions, is observed in India and Nepal.

-    You have to work hard to become somebody in life (Using ‘infinite’)

Fair is foul, and foul is fair - Macbeth, Shakespeare

2.   Compound sentence:  A sentence which is made up of Principal or Main clauses where two independent clauses are connected to each other with a connective (co-coordinating conjunction) such as : for, or , therefore, so, yet, but, and, still, nevertheless, however, only, it is used for brevity and explicability. For example:
  i.)        Parents scold you, for they love you.

ii.)        Hurry up or we will get late.

iii.)       He was lazy; therefore he didn’t get any work.

iv.)       I don’t have cash, so I will withdraw from ATM.

v.)        He is not well off, yet he will never compromise with his principle.

vi.)        He may be honest, but I can’t trust him.

vii.)      He is rich and he can buy out

viii.)     She was annoyed, still she kept quiet

ix.)        He failed, nevertheless he didn’t lose heart.

x.)        The parents give their children the boat; they can’t however meet all the demands.
xi.)    She knows English; only she can’t speak eloquently.

3.   Complex sentence:  A sentence which has one independent clause and one or more dependent clauses that usually begins with dependent clause and connected together with a connective (subordinate conjunctions) such as :after, although, as, because, before, even though, if, since, though, unless, until, when, whenever, whereas, while. For example:

- After her first degrees, she decided to get a job.

- Although, she was poor in English, she cracked IAS.

- As netas are corrupt, the people have become indifferent to the issue of corruption.

- Because of financial problems, he couldn’t sustain his business.

- Before you fill up the form, read the instructions.

- Even though he is poor, he can’t be dishonest.

- If he works hard, he can succeed.

- Since he is sick, he can’t attend class.

- Though he is genius, he can’t crack IAS.

- Unless you work hard, you can’t succeed.

- Until he comes, you will have to wait.

- When I reached station, the train had left.

- Whenever you need me, you can turn to me.

- Some netas pretend to be global whereas Modi is a pure nationalist.
- While there is sun, we can make hay.

Furthermore, there are certain standardized phrases extensively used by the writers/ journalist to maintain flow of thoughts from once sentence to other or form one paragraph to another. For example:

-   Over 50 percent people are below poverty line in India. As a matter of fact, the most of the netas are corrupt.

-   For no apparent reasons, she turned down his proposal.

-   Infact there is cut throat competition; it is not easy to start a new business.

-   It passes belief that people like Asaram can commit rape.

-   Parents always scold their children for their mistakes.  Needless to say, they care for their kids.

-   The students study day and night to crack IAS exams. Obviously, the success doesn’t come cheap.

-   As a servant of public, netas live king’s life. On the contrary, public, the master live in abject poverty.

-   The most of the netas roll in money. Surprisingly enough, they have no personal business.

-   The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Undoubtedly, democracy has been replaced with ‘lootocracy’.

Besides sentence-framing, yet another common problem faced by the student- writers is the ‘sequence of tenses’. It is usual pit-fall for the students. Here, the students must follow certain established rules:

1. Past tense in Principle clause must follow Past tense in the Subordinate clause too. For example:

-   The court found out that he was not guilty.

-   All students worked hard so that they might crack SSC.

Exceptions

i)  In case of universal truth, past may be followed by present tense:

-     Gandhi said that non-violence is key to peace.

ii) If subordinate clause is introduces by ’than’, a past tense in principle clause may be followed by any tense as required in subordinate clause.

iii)   She loved him more than she loves her own children.

-      The people liked Indira Gandhi more than they like Rahul Gandhi

2.   Present or Future tense in principle clause may be followed by any tense as required.

-  People think that he did commit the crime

-  People can’t believe that he committed the crime.

Exceptions

- Subordinate  clause denoting’ purpose’ must be in present, if principle clause is present or Future:

People work hard so that they may earn.

Since writers/ scholars maintain that English Grammar is more confusing than comprehensive, it is better to study the sentence-framing, and style of established writers and develop a distinctive diction. Look at the lucid prose/ style/ word play. While addressing the senators on government, David E. Lilienthal says:

   “Any form of government, therefore, and any institutions which make men means rather than ends, which exalt the state or any other institutions above the importance of men, which place arbitrary power over men as a fundamental tenet of government, are contrary to that conception, and therefore, I am deeply opposed to them.” 

After the assassination of Gandhiji, Jawaharlal Nehru addressed the nation with the words:

   “Friends and comrades, the light has gone out of our lives and there is darkness everywhere. . . . The light has gone out, I said, and yet I was wrong. For the light that shone in this country was no ordinary light. The light that has illumined this country for these many years will illumine this country for many more years . . . .”

Mind you, writing is a matter of practice. It is like drawing water from well. More one draws the water more it gets clear and clean. Life is the best school. One continues to learn until the last breath. So live life long as a student in this vast world.