Humour
An Interview with Corona
"You human animals can’t think beyond your minion mind; you can’t understand beyond your phoney perception; you cannot hear without air; you can’t see without light. And you call yourself the most civilized and developed creature of the animal kingdom on the earth"
By Mukesh Sharma
By Mukesh Sharma
Through a doctor friend of mine here in US, this
blogger, with some divine blessings, managed to interview the most dreadful and
the deadliest ‘thing’ in the world today known as Coronavirus by the petrified man, claiming to be the landlord of
this planet earth. Here are the excerpts from the intriguing interview:
Blogger:
Good morning Mr.
Corona
Corona:
Who the hell are you? You fucking asshole! How dare you use the word
‘good’ before me. We are votary of always the great ‘Bad’. We hate anything
‘good’ in this universe. So never ever use this abominable word ‘good’.
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| Coronavirus |
Blogger:
Aa . . .Aa. . .I am sorry Mr. Corona. Kindly accept
my apologies. Very very bad morning! I am a blogger and with your permission,
wish to ask a few questions so that the world could know about the 'magnanimity' of Your Gracious self.
Corona:
What blogger? Say you are a pen-pusher struggling
for your daily bread.
Blogger:
You can never be wrong Sir.
Corona:
So now bark away what you want to say. Be brief, I
am very busy in duteous task “killing Spree”
Blogger:
Where are you from?
Corona:
You asshole . . . Do you wish to travel to my place.
. . Ha. Ha. Ha. . . I am from ‘black hole’ where your all what
you call science fails. You moron man.
Blogger:
No . . Never. Just for knowledge sake Sir.
Corona:
You human animals can’t think beyond your minion
mind; you can’t understand beyond your phoney perception; you cannot hear
without air; you can’t see without light. And you call yourself the most
civilized and developed creature of the animal kingdom on the earth. Come out
of chaos and confusion. Don’t you understand that you are not able to tackle
even a size of 60 nano meter so-called virus taking on your huge 'size' of six
feet, and you still make tall talks and make tall claims about your so-called
scientific advancement. . .You insignificant snipe. . .
Blogger:
What is the purpose of your visit on the earth?
Corona:
You dunghead! I am an earthling. I am an original
inhabitant of this planet earth from the day one when the earth came into
existence as a big chunk separated accidently from the Sun. All the planets and
stars in this cosmos belong to us (virus). We are the original landlord/owner.
Even this two legged animal what is known as man, has been developed from a
single celled animal like protozoans - our great, great, great grand kids,
through a long process of biological evolution on earth - Protozoans,
Amphibians, Reptiles, Aves, and Mammals and so on.
Blogger:
Okay! Now I understand.
Corona:
Better you understand. We, virus, are omnipresent
and omnipotent. We may not be God but not less than God. The man must learn to
pay obeisance to us(viruses).
Blogger:
So, who has woken you up from your deep slumber (dormant
state)?
Corona:
That’s the intelligent question. Let me tell you the
truth. It is our ardent devotee China. Chinese enjoy each living and no living
things which is our abode. They respect viruses and bacteria. I am here on the
request of the great China. They want me to help them become the superpower on
the earth.
Blogger:
Are you not doing great injustice to other countries
and the teeming millions by giving them death?
Corona:
What injustice! Death is the destiny of all the
living beings. I am just cutting short their journey. Furthermore, look at
audacity and arrogance of so called developed nations. Are they not responsible
for the ecological imbalance – global warming, encroachments, forest fires and dumping
the garbage in the sea and collection of nuclear arsenal - the man has seed of its ruin in himself.
The power and pelf have gone to the head of developed nations. First and Second
world countries are guilty of sin of omission. In contrast, third and fourth
world countries are battling for life against hunger and disease. So I am here
on cleansing operation – the man must learn to respect Mother Nature. However, Darwin
theory shall be observed - Survival of the fittest.
Blogger:
An allegation is being leveled against you that your
operation is not free from biases. You are attacking developed nations with
more vehemence than the developing or underdeveloped nations across the world -
China has recovered up and is back to business; you seem to have soft corner
for other Asian countries, particularly, India– with population
of 1.35 billion there are just 3577 case of infection and just 83 deaths. On
the contrary, death toll is mounting day by day in thousands in developed
nations.
Corona:
You see, underdeveloped and developing countries
always respect virus and bacteria. They are the veritable home of all kinds
organism. For instance, India is the home of scores of our (virus) distant
relatives- TB, flu, influenza, malaria, chikungunya,
dengue etc. you name it India has it. So for the sake of fraternity I cannot
harm much. However, a few audacious people need to be taught lessons. The
majority of Indians respect not only living beings but nonliving beings too. I
appreciate them for their hospitability and their unique culture. Developed
nations must learn several good things from India.
Blogger:
And . . .
Corona:
What and . . .
no more questions now. I am very busy now. Don’t you ever try to see me
again. I am sparing you because you are an Indian.
