An Interview with Corona

Humour

An Interview with Corona

"You human animals can’t think beyond your minion mind; you can’t understand beyond your phoney perception; you cannot hear without air; you can’t see without light. And you call yourself the most civilized and developed creature of the animal kingdom on the earth"

By Mukesh Sharma

Through a doctor friend of mine here in US, this blogger, with some divine blessings, managed to interview the most dreadful and the deadliest ‘thing’ in the world today known as Coronavirus by the petrified man, claiming to be the landlord of this planet earth. Here are the excerpts from the intriguing interview:

Blogger:

Good morning Mr. Corona

Corona:

Who the hell are you?  You fucking asshole! How dare you use the word ‘good’ before me. We are votary of always the great ‘Bad’. We hate anything ‘good’ in this universe. So never ever use this abominable word ‘good’.

Coronavirus

Blogger:

Aa . . .Aa. . .I am sorry Mr. Corona. Kindly accept my apologies. Very very bad morning! I am a blogger and with your permission, wish to ask a few questions so that the world could know about the 'magnanimity' of Your Gracious self.

Corona:

What blogger? Say you are a pen-pusher struggling for your daily bread.

Blogger:

You can never be wrong Sir.

Corona:

So now bark away what you want to say. Be brief, I am very busy in duteous task “killing Spree”

Blogger:

Where are you from?

Corona:

You asshole . . . Do you wish to travel to my place. . . Ha.  Ha. Ha. . .  I am from ‘black hole’ where your all what you call science fails. You moron man.

Blogger:

No . . Never. Just for knowledge sake Sir.

Corona:

You human animals can’t think beyond your minion mind; you can’t understand beyond your phoney perception; you cannot hear without air; you can’t see without light. And you call yourself the most civilized and developed creature of the animal kingdom on the earth. Come out of chaos and confusion. Don’t you understand that you are not able to tackle even a size of 60 nano meter so-called virus taking on your huge 'size' of six feet, and you still make tall talks and make tall claims about your so-called scientific advancement. . .You insignificant snipe. . .

Blogger:

What is the purpose of your visit on the earth?

Corona:

You dunghead! I am an earthling. I am an original inhabitant of this planet earth from the day one when the earth came into existence as a big chunk separated accidently from the Sun. All the planets and stars in this cosmos belong to us (virus). We are the original landlord/owner. Even this two legged animal what is known as man, has been developed from a single celled animal like protozoans - our great, great, great grand kids, through a long process of biological evolution on earth - Protozoans, Amphibians, Reptiles, Aves, and Mammals and so on.

Blogger:

Okay! Now I understand.

Corona:

Better you understand. We, virus, are omnipresent and omnipotent. We may not be God but not less than God. The man must learn to pay obeisance to us(viruses).

Blogger:

So, who has woken you up from your deep slumber (dormant state)?

Corona:

That’s the intelligent question. Let me tell you the truth. It is our ardent devotee China. Chinese enjoy each living and no living things which is our abode. They respect viruses and bacteria. I am here on the request of the great China. They want me to help them become the superpower on the earth.

Blogger:

Are you not doing great injustice to other countries and the teeming millions by giving them death?

Corona:

What injustice! Death is the destiny of all the living beings. I am just cutting short their journey. Furthermore, look at audacity and arrogance of so called developed nations. Are they not responsible for the ecological imbalance – global warming, encroachments, forest fires and dumping the garbage in the sea and collection of nuclear arsenal  - the man has seed of its ruin in himself. The power and pelf have gone to the head of developed nations. First and Second world countries are guilty of sin of omission. In contrast, third and fourth world countries are battling for life against hunger and disease. So I am here on cleansing operation – the man must learn to respect Mother Nature. However, Darwin theory shall be observed - Survival of the fittest.

Blogger:

An allegation is being leveled against you that your operation is not free from biases. You are attacking developed nations with more vehemence than the developing or underdeveloped nations across the world - China has recovered up and is back to business; you seem to have soft corner for other Asian countries, particularly, India– with population of 1.35 billion there are just 3577 case of infection and just 83 deaths. On the contrary, death toll is mounting day by day in thousands in developed nations.

Corona:

You see, underdeveloped and developing countries always respect virus and bacteria. They are the veritable home of all kinds organism. For instance, India is the home of scores of our (virus) distant relatives- TB, flu, influenza, malaria, chikungunya, dengue etc. you name it India has it. So for the sake of fraternity I cannot harm much. However, a few audacious people need to be taught lessons. The majority of Indians respect not only living beings but nonliving beings too. I appreciate them for their hospitability and their unique culture. Developed nations must learn several good things from India.

Blogger:

And . . .

Corona:

What and . . .  no more questions now. I am very busy now. Don’t you ever try to see me again. I am sparing you because you are an Indian.