Sententious Squabble
'The
foolish man thinks that he has mind to think. In
fact, it is we who make his mind to think'
By
Mukesh Sharma
Last week, I visited Central library of Delhi
University for some research papers after ages. I was rather surprised to hear
a commotion in English from the reading hall. Out of curiosity, I stepped into
the hall and flinched at the sight of eight white guys sitting at the table and
squabbling over some matter. I recognized them in no time. They were Noun, Pronoun, Adjective, Verb, Adverb,
Preposition, Conjunction and Interjection. During my school days, I used to
call them Grammar monsters. Surprisingly, there was no change in their physical
appearance even after years. Even mighty time couldn’t wither their sheen and serenity.
Ducking behind an almirah, I quietly settled in a chair at the corner table
just behind them at some distance with a wish to overhear their heated
conversation.
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| Sententious Squabble |
Since the Grammar monsters were fully occupied with
their boisterous blah-blah, my mind plunged deep into past memories of school days.
In those older days, Noun was a humpty dumpty white skinned, short-statured bespectacled
guy. His eyes were little squinted. He was very aggressive and short-tempered.
He would always bully others. Native speaker of Hindi and learners of English
as a second language would always fear him. He had six hurly burly brothers: Proper Noun, Common Noun, Collective Noun,
Abstract Noun, Countable Noun and Uncountable Noun.
Pronoun
was a thin and lanky guy. He was very talkative. He would always drop names and
make a great show of his acquaintances. He would always claim to have friends
at high places.
Adjective
was a slim and slick girl with very fair complexion, golden brown long hair,
oval cherubic faces with sharp features. She would always use eyes to speak
rather than tongue. She was full breasted even at the age of 16. The boys would
steal glances and ogle her in the class. She was a vision in white skirt and
top. She was the beauty of the class. She looked so divine that the boys were
scared of her beauty. All had crush on her, but it was difficult to woo and win
her.
Another heart throb of the class was Verb. She was not blonde. Though she
was English, she had wheatish complexion. She looked more like Indian than
English, and would easily mix up with the Indian. She would love Indian dress,
culture and cuisine. She was a go-getter and very friendly to all. Her smile
was very sexy. She would always get the things moving even under the most static unfavorable
circumstances.
Adverb
was a sober guy with average height. He was soft-spoken. He would never talk
non-sense. He was not extrovert. His talks would always carry deep sense and
weight. The Native speakers of Hindi had great sense of respect for him.
Preposition
was a medium built English guy. Native speakers of Hindi would call him buddy.
He was very intelligent. He had cosmopolitan outlook. He was a good counselor.
He would always pacify the agitated people even in deep problem.
Conjunction,
had leadership quality. He would always bring the warring factions to
negotiating table, and settle even gravest dispute. He would never compromise
his principle. The native speakers of Hindi had very high opinion of him.
Interjection
was a theist. She would believe in power of prayer. She would love to help the
needy. In fact, she was an emotional girl. She would always bubble with optimism and confidence. She would always cheer up the people around her. She was a sinew of
energy and enthusiasm to all. She would always preach: enjoy the present, you
never know what is next.
All of a sudden a bang on table jolted me back from
interesting past to intriguing present. High feverish talks were going on among
Grammar monsters. I meekly overheard their talks. Here I wish to share the
excerpts with my valued readers and dear students:
Noun:
Guys, be it man or material,
each thing in this universe is known by me only. I have given a name to each
and everything of this universe. Even the God so-called creator is not beyond
my reach. I am a proud Latin – an official language of the Great Romans who had
subjugated the most part of Europe – the great ruler. I am second to none.
Pronoun:
Mr. Noun, self-praise is no
recommendation. Don’t blow your own trumpets. You see, I am the guy who can
replace you. I can function as you. And my eugenic makes me even superior to
you – I am proud son of Latin and French parents.
Adjective:
Calm down! Calm down guys. We are in
library. You both would accept the fact that I am capable of modifying you. A
flower is recognized by it color and fragrance not just by its name. A rose
will smell like a rose, even if you change its name. I am a pampered daughter
of my Latin and French parents. So come down an earth.
Verb:
You see, the most important
thing in this universe is action. I give force to things to move or act. God is
not just a noun but an action. Of victory, I am triumph; of body, I am breath;
of wind, I am blow; of water, I am flow; of sex, I am cohabitation. Without me, no
one will respect noun or pronoun. You are shape. I am a force within. I am also
lovely daughter of my Latin and French parents.
Adverb:
Well! Bring the temperature down.
I am also here, your close friend. You all know, I am the intensifier. I give
greater description to a verb. Even tomorrow is an adverb. I am the future.
Preposition:
Don’t waste your breath guys. You know, it is a well acknowledged and acclaimed
fact that I govern noun or pronoun. I have power to link noun, pronoun and
phrase to other words in a sentence. I am not a bastard like you. I am a pure
proud Latin.
Conjunction:
No swearing words please. We are in public place. Don’t overlook my
constructive role in your life. You can’t erect a building just by the use of
bricks. You need mortar to join the brick. And I am the mortar. It is me who
puts you at the right place and make you worthy of recognition and respect. You are nothing without me.
Interjection:
Enough is enough! Rise above selfishness and self-praise guys. We all are indispensable
parts of a sentence. We have collective identity. You see, head is not body,
torso is not body, hands and legs are not body. However, all these essential
parts together make the complete body. Mind you, we all are unique creation of Mother
Nature. We have unique identity and
unique characteristics qualities. Nothing can replace us from our place in the
sentence. It is the sentence that makes a man to think, write and speak.
Without us, a man will be an animal. So the Mother Nature is kind enough to
bestow on us the undisputed power to rule the psyche of man – so called the
most civilized creature in animal kingdom on planet earth. The foolish man
thinks that he has mind to think. In fact, it is we who make his mind to think.
Cheer up guys!
