(Humour)
Variety of English in India
Angles and Saxons, the original native speaker of English would have never thought even in their wildest dream that after US and UK, English would flourish in India; and now a Britisher contends it may die in America and UK in distant future but would continue to survive in India and the last English knowing man on earth would be an Indian
By Mukesh Sharma
ndia is known for its varieties in the world for ages. Besides the people of different sizes and colours, awesome landscape, many religions, varied cuisine, plethora of political parties, qualities of corruption, 22 languages and 720 dialects, India has variety of English too.
Out of circumstantial compulsions, the British, officially, left India on 15 August 1947. But since then, the Indian have been struggling with English left behind by the English.
Perhaps, 200 years of slavery have gone down deep into the DNA of the Indian. Even today, English, a language of the English is held in high esteem. Quips a journalist, “Indians are scared of two things: white skin and English language. In India, English is not simply a language; it is symbol of status; a symbol of class; a symbol of intellect.”
A close study reveals that in India, English can be classified into four categories: Fake English, Hinglish, Elite English and Queen’s English as shown in the diagram below:
Out of no other option and resigned to their fate, over 55 per cent people have been struggling for independence from the prison of poverty. They live in famished villages. They toil from dawn to dusk to live off their small pieces of atrophied land. Still the bullock plough the field. Still the hapless farmers are at the mercy of rain God, Indra.
Happy with their respective vernacular tongues/dialects, they know nothing about English. The bitter truth is they are not even in the swing of the things. They are wooed only on the ‘auspicious’ day of voting, and after that they are just a scrap.
Fake English
To an outsider, it (fake English) sounds like English but it is not English. It is the literal translation of Hindi sentences into broken English. 25 per cent people speak Fake English in India. Blissfully ignorant of correct English, they speak fake English with all confidence and composure. They never miss the opportunity to show off their ‘command’ of English. Time to time, even Hindi movies have mocked at the craze and cravings for fake English. In one of the old movies, Namak Halal, the leading man Amitabh Bachchan playing the character of a country man, says:
“I can talk English, I can walk English, I can laugh English because English is very funny language. Bhairo becomes barrio because their minds are very narrow.”
In yet another movie, Bol Bachhan, playing a role of typical Indian, the hero, Ajay Devgun says:
“My chest has become blouse”:
(literal translation of Hindi sentence: meri chhati chodi ho gai hai)
“Brother-in-law will die Tommy’s death tomorrow”
(Translated version of Hindi: Kutte ki maut marega kal)
“When elders get cozy, youngsters don’t put their nosy”
(translated version of Hindi: Jab bade baat kar rahe ho to chhote beech mai nahi bolte)
Obviously, there are scores of such examples in real and reel life. What is more interesting, this blogger has overheard even a few so-called teachers, perhaps, grown up with this fake English segment, using the sentences:
“I will take test tomorrow, come ready.”
(translated version of Hindi: me kal tumhara test lunga, tyaar hoke aana)
“Tomorrow, I will not take class. So you are free.
(translated version of Hindi: kal mei class nahi lunga, islye tum free ho)
Of course, this kind of English may be described, linguistically, as English Creole to the comfort of this large flock.
Hinglish
It is a mixture of English and Hindi. It is popular among urbanities particularly, youngsters. Here English sentences are used with words and sentences from Hindi, and it is used in most of the strata of the Indian society. Study reveals that 17 per cent people use Hinglish in India. Stevan Baker who is resident of India for the last 10 years says:
“Hinglish, a blend of Hindi and English is increasingly common in India and beyond - novels have been written in the language. The Author Shobha De known as “Jackie Collins of India” began to use Hinglish in her writing in 1960s.”
Over the years, obviously, Hinglish has become the exclusive trade mark of the Indian. It has become the language of common parlance amount the socalled educated people. Based on mugged up standardized chunks, a conversation between two person is started off in English, as a stranger but soon, they switch over to Hinglish as two respectable Indians. A student reveals that in Hindi heartland even English literature is being taught by the respected teachers through Hinglish. It is common knowledge that the most of the self-styled teachers who call them language ‘trainer,’ give lessons in ‘English speaking’ through Hinglish only. YouTube is full of such vigorous videos. Hinglish is favorite of radio jockeys and film actors too. Speaks up a radio jockey, “Good morning listeners, I am your friend Ruby (name changed), and today, I have come with a bouquet of ever green old songs jo apke ke dil ko chho lengey.”
Hinglish also plays an important role in advertisements in India. Almost all multinational companies coin their catchy slogans only in Hinglish. Commenting on advertisement trends, a Copy writer Ashok Chakravarty says:
“Earlier, originally, all advertisements used to be composed in English only and then just translated into Hindi almost as an afterthought; but that method doesn’t work for the vast majority of Indians who know only a smattering of English. You may be understood, but not vibe with. That is why all the MNC now speak Hinglish in their ads.”
Here is a few examples how the MNC blow their own trumpet through catchy tag lines:
“Yeh hi hai right choice baby”
“Yeh dil mange more” – Pepsi
“Come on girls, waqt hai shine karne ka” – Sunsilk
“life ho to aisi – Coca Cola
Needless to say, Indians would be Indians. Nothing touches the chord except mother tongue, Hindi. The Copywriters of MNC know that the Hinglish is the future of advertisement industry in India. Here misrepresentation of facts which is tantamount to cheating remain only in law books not in life.
Elite English
What is right or wrong in English can better be judged by the native speaker of English only, particularly, the educated class of Londoners and residents of Eastern England only and that constitutes the RP (Received Pronunciation). If your English is not on a par with that English, it shall be rated as poor English or fractured English. The speakers of English as a second language have no choice or say. The second language always comes with ‘dependence.’ It is mother tongue only that makes one breathes independence. So, Elite English is used by the native speakers and the elite class of India – Professor emeritus, learned Amici Curiae of Hon’ble Courts; top flight journos, who take pride in reading and subscribing The Washington Post’ The New York Times, Daily Telegraph, Evening Standard, USA Today, and so on, the reasons are best known to them; the Indian English newspapers that faithfully follow the pattern and pith of foreign English newspapers only, of course, with their partisan outlook to Indian, Indian political parties and netas; and of course, a few blessed netas who are said to have studied at Harvard University, Cambridge University etc, and had the opportunity to rub shoulders with native speakers of English.
The characteristic qualities of this elite English are: it is based on ‘phrases’ (group of words); it relies on standardized sentences; it defies translation into any other language; it can better be learnt by following and living with the native speakers only. To a second language learner, who tries to understand it through his/her mother tongue, it sounds very confusing and clamoring. Here are some examples:
‘Kejriwal is in the habit of jumping the gun’ (to act without due caution).
Be ready to pull your punches (to speak in an honest way without trying to be kind)
I want to get back to nature
(Return to simple village life)
Rahul Gandhi is yet to learn the ropes (to know how to do something correctly etc.)
Don’t drive under the influence (do not drink and drive)
The days are drawing in (daytime is getting shorter)
The taps are running dry (no water from taps)
The government will bleed the people dry and make them beggars. (Impose more and more taxes and make them beggar)
I have pins and needles in my left leg (a tingling sensation in a limb in Hindi: paer so gaya hai)
So there are hundreds of such examples that make the basis of elite English.
What is noteworthy, this elite English is also the base of almost all the competitive exams for government services like SSC, UPSC, Bank, Judiciary etc. The most of the aspirants who are from lower strata of the society, grapple with this elite English in exams and cut sorry figure, for, it can’t be learnt through translation; it can’t be learnt through mugged up grammatical rules or so-called vocabulary. Surprisingly, syntax and semantics that make the basis of Elite English, are not the part of curiculum for English language programme. And confusion goes on.
Queen’s English
It is reminiscent of the chaste British English, usually, used by the educated class of the British – in old time by Viceroys and Lords. In his budget speech (March 26, 1903) as a Viceroy and Governor General of India, George Curzon says:
“We are ordained to walk here in the same track together for many a long day to come. You can’t do without us. We should be impotent without you. Let the Englishman and the Indian accept the consecration of a union that is as mysterious as to have in it something, divine, and let our common ideal be a united country and a happier people.”
To then highbrow British, Indians as a subject were no better than cockroaches and mices.
In India, by an estimate just 0.1 per cent people use this Queen’s English, and most of them are in judiciary (High Courts and Supreme Court), perhaps, studied in US/UK, and a few are in journalism and politics, and all these can be described as perfect progeny of Angrez (the English).
One, out of the herd speaking and writing Queen’s English (Macaulay rated them as ‘black English’) who seem like undesignated and unacknowledged Viceroy and Lords of the British regime, is hon’ble Shashi Tharror. His well imitated mockney accent, winged words couched in multifaceted sentences, make an average English knowing Indian strain his ears/eyes and scratch his head in order to make out what the great man intends to elucidate. Look at these Shashi Tharoorain expression:
”My new book The Paradoxical PM is more than just a 400 page exercise in floccinaucinihilipilification”.
Even in past, the over sententious Shashi Tharoor has used inconsequential words like: “lalochezia”, ‘farrago’, rodomontade,’ “wahaquoof” and “snollygoster”
Only he or God knows the right contextual meanings which are beyond the comprehension of this moron blogger.
Next comes the omniscient Oracles of law. Me Lords just pontificate and leave rest to the wisdom of the people to paraphrase. Not only to legal hawks but also layman, the interpretation becomes a subject matter of debate and discussion.
In sabarimala Verdict, Apex Court says:
“To exclude from worship, is to deny one of the most basic postulate of human dignity to women. Neither can the constitution countenance such exclusion nor can a free society accept it under the veneer of religious belief.”
Passing judgment in favour of passive euthanasia, SC says:
“The right to a dignified existence the liberty to make decision and choices and the autonomy of the individual are central to the quest to live a meaningful life.”
The blessed Angles and Saxons, the original native speaker of English would have never thought even in their wildest dream that after US and UK, English would flourish in India; and now a Britisher contends ironically that English may die in America and Britain in distant future but would continue to survive in India, and the last English knowing man on the earth would be an Indian.
