An Interview with Corona

Humour

An Interview with Corona

"You human animals can’t think beyond your minion mind; you can’t understand beyond your phoney perception; you cannot hear without air; you can’t see without light. And you call yourself the most civilized and developed creature of the animal kingdom on the earth"

By Mukesh Sharma

Through a doctor friend of mine here in US, this blogger, with some divine blessings, managed to interview the most dreadful and the deadliest ‘thing’ in the world today known as Coronavirus by the petrified man, claiming to be the landlord of this planet earth. Here are the excerpts from the intriguing interview:

Blogger:

Good morning Mr. Corona

Corona:

Who the hell are you?  You fucking asshole! How dare you use the word ‘good’ before me. We are votary of always the great ‘Bad’. We hate anything ‘good’ in this universe. So never ever use this abominable word ‘good’.

Coronavirus

Blogger:

Aa . . .Aa. . .I am sorry Mr. Corona. Kindly accept my apologies. Very very bad morning! I am a blogger and with your permission, wish to ask a few questions so that the world could know about the 'magnanimity' of Your Gracious self.

Corona:

What blogger? Say you are a pen-pusher struggling for your daily bread.

Blogger:

You can never be wrong Sir.

Corona:

So now bark away what you want to say. Be brief, I am very busy in duteous task “killing Spree”

Blogger:

Where are you from?

Corona:

You asshole . . . Do you wish to travel to my place. . . Ha.  Ha. Ha. . .  I am from ‘black hole’ where your all what you call science fails. You moron man.

Blogger:

No . . Never. Just for knowledge sake Sir.

Corona:

You human animals can’t think beyond your minion mind; you can’t understand beyond your phoney perception; you cannot hear without air; you can’t see without light. And you call yourself the most civilized and developed creature of the animal kingdom on the earth. Come out of chaos and confusion. Don’t you understand that you are not able to tackle even a size of 60 nano meter so-called virus taking on your huge 'size' of six feet, and you still make tall talks and make tall claims about your so-called scientific advancement. . .You insignificant snipe. . .

Blogger:

What is the purpose of your visit on the earth?

Corona:

You dunghead! I am an earthling. I am an original inhabitant of this planet earth from the day one when the earth came into existence as a big chunk separated accidently from the Sun. All the planets and stars in this cosmos belong to us (virus). We are the original landlord/owner. Even this two legged animal what is known as man, has been developed from a single celled animal like protozoans - our great, great, great grand kids, through a long process of biological evolution on earth - Protozoans, Amphibians, Reptiles, Aves, and Mammals and so on.

Blogger:

Okay! Now I understand.

Corona:

Better you understand. We, virus, are omnipresent and omnipotent. We may not be God but not less than God. The man must learn to pay obeisance to us(viruses).

Blogger:

So, who has woken you up from your deep slumber (dormant state)?

Corona:

That’s the intelligent question. Let me tell you the truth. It is our ardent devotee China. Chinese enjoy each living and no living things which is our abode. They respect viruses and bacteria. I am here on the request of the great China. They want me to help them become the superpower on the earth.

Blogger:

Are you not doing great injustice to other countries and the teeming millions by giving them death?

Corona:

What injustice! Death is the destiny of all the living beings. I am just cutting short their journey. Furthermore, look at audacity and arrogance of so called developed nations. Are they not responsible for the ecological imbalance – global warming, encroachments, forest fires and dumping the garbage in the sea and collection of nuclear arsenal  - the man has seed of its ruin in himself. The power and pelf have gone to the head of developed nations. First and Second world countries are guilty of sin of omission. In contrast, third and fourth world countries are battling for life against hunger and disease. So I am here on cleansing operation – the man must learn to respect Mother Nature. However, Darwin theory shall be observed - Survival of the fittest.

Blogger:

An allegation is being leveled against you that your operation is not free from biases. You are attacking developed nations with more vehemence than the developing or underdeveloped nations across the world - China has recovered up and is back to business; you seem to have soft corner for other Asian countries, particularly, India– with population of 1.35 billion there are just 3577 case of infection and just 83 deaths. On the contrary, death toll is mounting day by day in thousands in developed nations.

Corona:

You see, underdeveloped and developing countries always respect virus and bacteria. They are the veritable home of all kinds organism. For instance, India is the home of scores of our (virus) distant relatives- TB, flu, influenza, malaria, chikungunya, dengue etc. you name it India has it. So for the sake of fraternity I cannot harm much. However, a few audacious people need to be taught lessons. The majority of Indians respect not only living beings but nonliving beings too. I appreciate them for their hospitability and their unique culture. Developed nations must learn several good things from India.

Blogger:

And . . .

Corona:

What and . . .  no more questions now. I am very busy now. Don’t you ever try to see me again. I am sparing you because you are an Indian.

Corona, a curse or boon

Corona, a Curse or Boon

Message is loud and clear that in this boundless régime of God, man is no better than a midget; don't mess with the nature; live as a servant of nature not the master of nature

By Mukesh Sharma

From Wuhan to Washington, with over 24,000 deaths across the world and still counting, the invisible, inexplicable, indefatigable, invincible, indefinite etc ' thing' so named Coronavirus is feared more than Yamaraj (God of death in Hindu  Scriptures) today. Death penalty by Reverend Yamaraj can never be without justification; it is always, of course, self certified reasoned order like the Supreme Court of India - no appeal, no appellant Court. But Corona seems to know no reason except merciless 'man' hunt. Though Corona's unnerving enemity against human 'animals' is yet to be understood and studied by the so-called all- know man, this blogger thinks that Corona's curse is not without a boon.

Coronavirus

The valued readers would agree with this blogger that the 'life' exists in dualities  - there can be no right without wrong; no knowledge without ignorance; no happiness without sorrow; no darkness without light; no failure without success; no death without birth. So there can be no curse without boon.

Look at Corona from an eye of an optimist - the glass is not half empty but half full. Corona's relentless attack has united the world. Hostilities have been put to rest in most of the disturbed countries in the world like Afghanistan, Syria, South Sudan, Yemen, Iraq, Somalia, Libya etc. for the time being. Even arch rivals US and China have joined hands for the concerted efforts in a fight against Corona.

For the first time in post independent history, it has been witnessed that India has risen above the region and religion in a bid to give corona a good fight. Phenomenal unity has been seen in the diversity from Kanya kumari to Kashmir. Ever squabbling opposition parties have not opposed the PM Modi's call for nation wide lockdown.

Thanks to Corona terror, the people contend that the crime rate has come down dramatically - no news of rapes, murders, dacoity, theft etc. What is more, the most of Indian metropolitan cities which were known for smothering air, are free from pollution - no noise pollution and air pollution - the sky is so clear. The deserted roads give the cities the feeling of a western landscape. The sun shines brightly. The moon gleams with full glare at night.

  

Frankly speaking, it occurs to my mind that the Corona has taught perverted man to behave. Lockdown in houses has re-established family values.

Corona seems to have reaffirmed the faith of the world in Indian culture and cuisine – so called civilized people of the developed west are exchanging pleasanteries by saying namaste with folded hands. The respect for veggies has increased manifold in the world. The government and the rich have loosened the strings of their purses to help out the poor - the food free of charge along with other essential services. In fact, Carona has revived the socialism, maybe, for sometime. But the people wish to live in present. IMF, World Bank and other institutions are contemplating the much needed help to the poor nation battling for life and survival. The most of the nations have announced stimulus package as relief. Even RBI has also suggested the bank to declare moratorium for at least 3 months on all kinds of loans. Loanees are shouting hip hooray! hip hooray! hip hooray ! Socialism has come. The humanity seems to have been re-structured.

Undoubtedly, Corona has reminded the man his place. God made the beautiful earth for all kinds of non-living and living organisms – Protozoans, Amphibians, Raptiles, Aves and Mammals. But the wily man has encroached upon the rights of other creatures too. To assert his phony hegemony, the man has abused his powers and misused the natural resources; the man has drawn lines and divided  the earth into countries. Surprisingly enough with just an average life span of 60 years, the man has declared himself the owner of the earth.

Though the man boasts of his material progress touching the moon and mars sending robotic machines into space to travel, supposedly, through intra-galaxies, he has failed to face a tinniest virus to the size of 60 mm micron – his ego stands shattered. The virus Corona has cut the man down to size; it has shown the mirror to man.

The message is loud and clear that in  this boundless regime of God, man is no better than a midget. Don’t mess with nature. Live as a servant of nature not master of nature.

Wondrous Boy, The ‘Champion of the Earth’

(Humour)

Wondrous Boy

The ‘Champion of the Earth’

By Mukesh Sharma

W

ith all the elements of exclamations, his life story reads like the pep talks from the book Self Help by Samuel Smiles; it sounds like the contents of Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russel; it reflects the spirit of Ends and Means by Aldous Huxley; it shows the social philosophy of Capital by Karl Marx; it appears like the deft political moves of Chanakya Niti by Acharya Chanakya; it seems like the actions of the Prince  by Niccolo Machiavelli; his well calculated calm against the jibes of political opponents reminds one of the Gita of Lord Krishna.

His intriguing story reads like a travelogue from tea to top; from self to a son of soil; from nonentity to national figure; from RSS pracharak to Prime Minister; from State leader to Statesman.

After incipient FIASCOS, he is a man of scores of FIRSTS.  He was made an accused FIRST for 2002 Gujrat riots and later exculpated by the Supreme Court. He was anointed as chief Minister of Gujrat FIRST and an elected MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly) later in 2001. He became PM designate FIRST and an MP (Member of Parliament) later when he sweeped the general election in 2014. He is the FIRST junior BJP leader who has sidelined his seniors against hierarchy rule.

Wondrous Boy

He is the FIRST the most followed Indian leader on twitter (34.6 millions). He is the FIRST Indian politician who interacted with the netizens on live chat on Google Hangout on August 31, 2012.

He is the FIRST Indian leader who has influenced and persuaded Hon’ble Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman to go for a magnificent Hindu temple in Riyad, usually, an unheard and unwelcome idea in Muslim States.

He is the FIRST PM who has inked deal for S-400 missile system with elated 56 inch chest with Russia despite the raised eyebrows of US, a devil diplomacy.

He is the FIRST Indian leader who inspired UN General Assembly to declare 21 June as International Day for Yoga and made the world feel and realize the importance of the ancient science of India.

He is the FIRST PM who announced on TV channels the demonetization of Rs500 and Rs1000 currency notes, and declared it invalid tenders to wipe off black money, though it is a moot point in the so called intelligentsia.

Despite all the obstructionist approaches of opposition, he is the FIRST PM who has stuck to his “One Nation, and One Tax”, and has brought GST (Goods & service Tax) in force.

He is the FIRST PM who has challenged the ever bullying bigots, and has gone against the age old apocryphal practice of TRIPLE TALAQ, a disgrace to women folk and assertion of male-chauvinism, and has managed to declare it a cognizable crime now, well against so called Islamic canonical laws  ̶  Shariat and Hadees, much to the chagrin of some  self-styled  netas and vested interests.

He is the FIRST BJP leader who has made it possible to form BJP government in 19 states, after squeezing the ‘divine’ right and rectitude of Congress that has ruled and allegedly “ruined” India where over 50% populace is still below the poverty line, even after 72 years of independence. When India got independence in 1947, China was said to be lagging behind by 60 years but today China is, supposedly, 100 years ahead.

He is the FIRST leader who has forced his opponents to kneel down and allegedly,  seek the help of arch-enemy Pakistan and diplomatic foe China to defeat him in upcoming general election, a political maneuver lesser known to gullible populace.

He is the FIRST BJP leader who has given splitting headache to ‘Gandhis’, seemingly disturbed by his astute design and demagogy, and has made the Scion of Gandhi family to copy his modus Vivendi and modus oprandi  ̶   temple hopping, Mansarovar Yatra,  foreign jaunts to meet and greet Indians diaspora and so on.

He is the FIRST leader who is a fashion icon and makes style statements with his half-sleeves kurta and churidaar pyjama, an elegant but simple sartorial sense.

He is the FIRST Indian leader who has given hugs to the most of the powerful leaders of the world, and has, amusingly, been rated by US media as a “big hugger.”

As a workaholic, he is the FIRST PM who has not taken a single day leave and has worked 18 hours a day in his four and half years of tenure as a PM.

He is the FIRST PM whose kins live in wants at their ancestral  house in Gujrat. He has never mixed his public life with his private life, in contrast, to the most of the kins of netas who  make their pile just in 5 years, once they come to power, and still an, adamantly, single man is surprisingly being singled out for alleged corruption in certain deal for no apparent reason.

Since Election Commission has announced the dates of election in 5 states (Madhya Pradesh, Chhattisgarh, Mizoram, Rajasthan and Telangana) in upcoming November 2018, opposition leaders like wolves are out to hunt down the ‘lion’  (his supporters euphemistically call him lion). But they (opposition leaders) intuitively know that it will not be a cakewalk. Bereft of the issue, opposition leaders are busy in girding up their loin and riding up sleeves by spreading alleged lies.  And to the utter disbelief, dismay and distress of the opposition, now he has become the ‘Champion of the Earth’ before the opposition gets wind of his latest achievement (The award was announced on September 26, 2018 on the sidelines of 73^rd UN general Assembly in New York).

If the events continue to roll like that his opponents who are in jittery, believe he may soon become the ‘Champion of the Universe’. No doubt, the ‘world’ is perturbed and perplexed by the mindboggling feats of the FIRST of the Wondrous Boy,  the Champion of the Earth.