The Secret of Success Lies in Self

The Secret of Success Lies in Self

Journey of success takes full circle – it starts from Self and ends in Self

By Mukesh Sharma

 

“What is the secret of success Sir”, asked one of the disciples of the great teacher and philosopher Socrates. ‘Come tomorrow’, answered Socrates. “I will let you know the secret of success.” The next day, the disciple presented himself again. Socrates took him to a river nearby. Both stepped into the river water and started wading through the water towards the middle. When both were in neck-deep water, Socrates halted and put his hand on the head of the disciple and pushed it inside the water. After holding it for two minutes inside the water, Socrates released the head. Gasping for breath, the disciple popped up his head and was panting heavily. “Are you okay” asked Socrates. “How did you feel inside the water”. “I” the disciple stuttered. “I was dying for breath sir”. “So” said Socrates with a smile. “Here is the answer to your question”. “If one dies for success in the same way as you were for breath inside the water, one must get success.”

The Secret of Success Lies in Self

It’s a fact when success becomes the sole purpose of life, it doesn’t keep away from its aspirant longer. Sooner or later, it embraces him/her.

Mind you, there is no ‘road’ to success. Each success-seeker has to make his/her own road. There are no set rules to win success. Each candidate has to make own rules and observe it. There is no teacher to teach success. One has to be one’s own teacher.

The size, shape and form of success are different for different people. To a young love-sick man, his love-lady may be a success; to a woman, being an independent career woman may be a success; to lesser souls, a secured government service may be a success; to enterprising people, own flourishing business may be a success; to likes of Amitabh Bachchan acting may be a success; to likes of Sachin Tendulkar, being a top cricketer may be a success; to a neta, CM/PM chair may be a success, and the story of success goes on differently for different people.

Like hunger and sex, success is also insatiable. Success succeeds success -  fulfillment of one success creates  hunger for the another.

The road to success may be long or even endless depending upon the form of success and the success- seeker. Nevertheless, all types of success, inevitably, begin from Self and essentially through Society and ones Country, reach the World. Out of millions, a few like Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking reach at the threshold of universe. And in ages, a few blessed like Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad and Nank Jump all the barriers and reach the depth of the universe and become one with the universe – the inexplicable and incomprehensible regime of God.

Since journey of success starts from Self only, it is imperative to know thyself  -  all the aspects of self:

1.      Know your material

A potter knows his stuff very well and gives it different shapes and size accordingly. If one inherently feels that one is IAS/IPS material, go for it without hesitation. At an early age,Virat Kholi knew he was cricket material, and today he is a skipper of Indian team. Jeff Bozos knew he was business material, and today he is the richest man in the world. None can guide better than natural instincts and traits. A rat knows it can make hole in the mountain. Listen to inner voice. Follow it passionately. One succeeds like success in the field of one’s choice. Tragedy with the unsuccessful people is the most of them are misplaced.

 

2.      Know your weakness and strength

Make weakness your strength and your strength an asset. Arnold Schwarzenegger says he made his good physics an asset – succeeded as Mr. Universe, shot to fame with many successful movies and later joined politics too, and ended up as an Hon’ble Governor of California (US).

 

3.      Set your goal dream

With an eye on your stuff and your strength and weakness, capabilities and abilities, set a goal of your dream. Caution: don’t be a day-dreamer who dreams during day time to have fulfilled his dream with no effort. Such people are a failure. Don’t be a night-dreamer either who forgets the dream at the break of the day. Be a goal dreamer who stays up wide awake day and night. And at last realizes the success of his dream.

 

4.      Construct Success

Castle of success is not built in air. It needs a layout plan. It needs skilled hands to do foundation work, erect walls brick by brick and further lock walls with a roof. Construction of castle of success is a team work of Self, Strategic planning, Hard work, Patience and Perseverance.

  

5.      Don’t listen to ‘nay’ sayers

On the way to success, one is likely to come across scores of people who would discourage one. Don’t heed on their mischievous advice. Commenting on such people, Mark Twain says:

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.

 

6.      Don’t be afraid of failures

Fear of failures deters success-seeker the most. No one is born  learned or perfect. Before learning to ride bicycle, a learner falls many times. But after each falls, he stands up again with a strong will to ride. This will power teaches him to ride bicycle. Don’t be scared of failures. Look at the causes of failures. Nothing happens without a cause. Commenting on failures, Winston Churchill says:

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm

Yet another writer Clement Stone says:

Failure is a lesson, a learning experience – a rung on the ladder

 

7.      Trust Yourself

All successful people trust themselves like anything. They know well before doing something that they can do it. Nothing can stop you except you. Tom Broadley rightly says:

The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dream is you

 

8.      Don’t wait for ‘auspicious’ time

You can reach nowhere without walking. The time when you feel like starting something is the most auspicious time. Arthur Ashe puts it rightly:

Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can

Martin Luther King Jr, elucidates further:

You don’t have to see the whole stair case, just take the first step

 

9.      Don’t entertain negative thoughts

Weeds do grow with crops. Unsteady mind keeps hoping between negativity and positivity. Problem starts when it gets stuck in negativity and starts creating negative scenes/thoughts – one imaginary bad situation leads to worse and further to the worst. Best way to tackle negativity is to counter it with positivity. If plan A fails, there is plan B. If B fails, there is plan C. Don’t let the mind wander in the failure of plan A. The stubborn are often found ‘third time lucky’.

The celebrated writer Christopher Reeve rightly says:

So many of our dream at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable and then when we summon the will they soon become inevitable.

 

10.  Discover winner in you

There is always a hidden winner in every one. It often comes to front in the ‘game’ of its choice where the winner is supported by strong Will, intense Desire that unleash the potential of par excellence needed to win the game. Discover the winner. James Dean puts this in his touching words:

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach . . . there are the keys that unlock the door to personal excellence.

 

11.  Don’t imitate

Successful people don’t copy, don’t use the hackneyed path. They make their own path to success. Kapil Sharma, the renowned stand-up comedian has created his own style of comedy. While interviewing celebs, he uses witty remarks and  petty jokes.  He is a roaring success. All successful people have unique and unparallel identity in their field. Ralph Waldo Emerson comments:

Don’t follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

 

However high building, there is always room at the top. This world is your oyster, your El-dorado. Success signifies achieving the impossibilities. Stage is yours. Act on the stage in such a way that people can take notice of you, can recognize your talent, can count you as successful. Enforce and expand your success through social skills, and extend it through society, country to the world. All successful people follow this strategy. The journey of success is full circle – it begins from Self and ends in Self.

 

The Necessary Noise

God is grand serenity and man is sheer noise

By Mukesh Sharma

The hushed sex noises made by two copulating bodies of opposite sex outside and millions of sonorous sperms dashing and darting, clamoring and competing with one another inside to hug one pliant and pluvial ovum out of legion, result in a baby who too makes ‘noise’ after coming out of the womb of its mother. Thus born out of noise, man lives with the noise and dies with the noise.

The Necessary Noise

 

Noise can be any audible or inaudible sound – rhythmic or unrhythmic, shout or silence, hullabaloo or hush, turmoil or tranquility, symphony or schism, harmony or hiatus cacophony or calm, decibel or desire, winged words or wishful wishes.

For the whole life, man battles with noise. His life shuttles between two noises – external noise and internal noise.

Noise emanating from any outside source can be rated as external noise. To man, it can be the language of animals speaking through their respective so-called nasal sounds. It can be screech of bat, growl of bear, hum of bees, chirp of sparrow, grunt of camel, mew of cat, crow of cocks, moo of cow, caw of crow, bark of dog, triumph of elephant, bray of donkey, quack of duck, howl of fox, buzz of fly, chortle of kangaroo, roar of lion, squeak of mice, shriek of owl, scream of peacock, bleat of sheep, sing of whales, whinny of zebra. A language becomes noise when one doesn’t understand it.

Nature too makes variety of noises; it can be splash of water; it can be wheeze of wind; it can be swish of the earth’s movement on its axis and around the sun; it can be rattle of leaves and trees; it can be burbling of a waterfall; it can be swash of waves of ocean. There is boundless knowledge/wisdom beyond the noise of nature.

Rhythmic repetition of sounds is called white noise that too can be counted as external noise. All songs/devotional songs are white noise used by all the religions. Man uses it as intoxicant, for it can send man to sleep,  delirium or disillusion far away from the reality of life.

Noise of crowd gives rise to hysteric frenzy that may lead to war or riot. It harms man more than good.

Noise made by TV channels/newspapers/films / social media is used by the vested interests to hack the mind of the people who buy their opinion from media and go by herd thinking. It is used for propaganda that further develops into a perception either in favour or against something/somebody. Netas use it for politics. Loudest noise maker is the greatest neta.

Internal noise is the coolest one – a gift of mother nature; it can be the noise of the heart beat; it can be the noise of rushing blood in artery and veins; it can be the noise of breath in and out; it can be the noise of desires or disenchantment; it can be the noise of hope or despondence; it can be the noise of love or hate; it can be the noise of sorrow or happiness; it can be the noise of pelf or  poverty; it can be the noise of wisdom or foolishness; it can be the noise of theism or atheism. It can be the noise of devil or deity.

It is this internal noise that makes or mars the life. There is deafening silence beyond this noise. Poet and writers feel it. Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, Guru Nanak realized it. There is regime of God beyond this internal noise. Anyone who goes beyond this noise  be one with the God; one becomes God unto oneself. God is grand serenity, man is sheer noise.

Overcoming Fear

Overcoming Fear

No one instills fear into you. It’s you who put fear in yourself. It’s your own perception. And solution to get rid of fear lies in you only

By Mukesh Sharma

Once upon a time, there was a notorious dacoit, Ragha. He was feared most in his area of operation. Once while passing by a village in the dead of night, he came across an empty house with a buffalo tethered to peg in the front yard of the house. Little away someone was asleep on the cot. The dacoit untied the tether to take away the buffalo. The sound of low of buffalo woke up the person. He was a young stout and sturdy boy of 16. He jumped to his feet and grabbed the tether. The dacoit tried to free it from the grasp of the boy but in vain. Soon dacoit realized that he was no match to the strength of the boy. Dacoit played a trick and shouted: “Be careful, save your life, dacoit Ragha is coming.” The moment the boy heard that, he left the tether and hurried inside the house. It was the fear of Ragha that defeated the boy not Ragha himself in person.

Crippling fear

Commenting on fear, Ralph Waldo Emerson says:

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”

Through the said story, fear can be defined as an exaggerated comparative self-perception of a situation, circumstances or an individual that weakens oneself against the other.

So and so is powerful neta, I am a nonentity. He is an IPS, I am an ordinary citizen. He is a big man, I am a small man. There are over five lakh candidates, I can’t make it to IAS. It is not my cup of tea. This kind of feelings  create a fear that declares one loser well before the event/happening.

No one instills fear in you. It is you who put fear in yourself. It is your own perception. Solution to get rid of fear lies in you only.

 Why does it happen so? Answer can be traced into your childhood. When a baby comes out of the womb of its mother, doctor taps the baby to make it cry. It is here that first seed of fear is sowed. Don’t go in dark, there is houa; don’t go near water, you will be drowned; don’t touch the dog, it will bite you; don’t talk to a stranger, he might harm you; don’t do this, God will be unhappy, and so on.

Needless to say, an Indian baby grows  up with fear; it’s life keeps shuttling between dos and don’ts. Thus fear further gives rise to different types of fear: fear of losing someone, fear of loss, fear of insecurity, fear of failure, fear of defeat, etc.

It’s natural for a  feared man to go for the retreat option – no fight,  no defeat;  no business, no loss;  no attempt, no failure like a pigeon that shuts its eyes and thinks that there is no cat.

Napoleon Bonaparte, a great conqueror says:

“Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.”

Here is an interesting anecdote that reveals the true self of Napoleon:

Once Napoleon faced an impossible situation. His army was at the bank of a river which was in full spate. Napoleon wanted to conquer a country which was across the river and abutting the river there was a high mountain. To reach the enemy, the only option was to cross the river and climb the mountains and then descend on other side. And it sounded impossible. There was fear of drowning to death. However, Napoleon ordered to cross the river and the mountain in the dead of the night to catch enemy unaware. While crossing the river many boats capsized and sank. After reaching the other side of the river, Napoleon ordered to sink all the boats – no option to go back – no retreat. Then Napoleon addressed his army: “we have no option to get back now. To live, we must conquer. March ahead. Fell upon enemy like a tiger in this darkness and conquer the enemy”. And Napoleon humbled his enemy in no time.

Obviously, fear exists so long as there is retreat option, so long as there is an escape route. Once that option is not available fear ceases to exist.

Originating from mountains, a river has no option of retreat; its passes through many crevices and falls, terrains and troughs, hills and plains, Jungles and cities; it negotiates hundreds of  turns and  twists. Nothing distracts it from its path to goal. Nothing halts its onward march. And finally it meets the ocean.

There is solution beyond fear of problems. There is dream beyond the fear of distraction. There is profit beyond the fear of loss. There is success beyond the fear of failure. There is safety beyond the fear of insecurity. There is love beyond the fear of hatred. There is victory beyond the fear of defeat. There is life beyond the fear of death. Jack Canfield rightly says:

“Everything you want is on the other side of the fear.”

Nothing overcomes the fear like option less purpose and oneness of efforts to serve it. Nothing is impossible. Hope never dies and possibilities never end.

Beware of Jealousy

 

Beware of Jealousy

Jealousy sickens Self like diabetes, it corrodes the society like rust; it eats away a country like termites

By Mukesh Sharma

History reveals that JEALOUSY has done more harm to humanity than any virus or natural calamity. Jealousy killed the mighty demon king Ravana; it wiped out powerful Kauravas in Mahabharata; it assassinated Archduke Ferdinand of Austria that triggered off world war-I; it caused the failure of peace efforts, German invasion in Europe, and Japan aggression on China that collectively resulted in World War-II; it is most likely to be the cause of World war -III too. Jealousy helped the Britisher to rule over India for 200 years; it bifurcated India into Hindustan and Pakistan; it is the cause of rampant corruption in India. Jealousy erodes self-confidence, kills the trust, ruins relations, weakens the nation and eats away the whole life bit by bit.

Beware of Jealousy

 

 

Through his one of characters, Iago in Othello, Shakespeare says:

“ O! Beware my lord of jealousy, it is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on”

As a daughter of Ego and Avarice, jealousy has many siblings – Greed, Treachery, Traitor, Quisling, Betrayer, Double Crosser, Snake in the grass, Sheep in wolf clothing and megalomaniac.

These siblings of jealousy are spreading their genome very fast; their stock is rising in each society and country day in and day out; they are the cause of the most of the sufferings of the man across the world.

It is not easy to recognize a jealous man, he may be one among your near relatives; he may be one among your close friends; he always wears the mask of well-wishers; he may be around you round the clock like Brutus back-stabbing Julius Caesar; he may be Jai Chand betraying Prithviraj Chauhan; he may be Raja Ranveer Singh of State of J & K who provided army and arms to the Britisher to end the Sikh rebellion in Punjab; he may be Mir Jafar; he may be Jeevaji Rao Scindia who sided and helped the Britisher and got killed amazon Rani Lakshmi Bai . Jealousy is like a virus, it may lie dormant within you too for years without your knowledge.

Notwithstanding, a jealous man can be recognized by his characteristic qualities only; he is talk active but sounds reticent; he doesn’t think beyond his selfish interest; he appears quiet and calm and remains busy in selfish calculation and never lets anyone get the wind of his ill-feelings; he never loses the opportunity to make a great show of affection; respect and concern, particularly, in front of others. As a man of good pusillanimity and patience, he always waits for the right time to act and react; he hates to see people above his status, and conspires to bring them down; he loathes anyone rising to his status and plans to push them down. Out of jealousy, a jealous man first targets the known people around him and then increases the circumference of circle of jealousy step by step after achieving the ‘targets’. However, a jealous woman is jealous of all women above her status.

Jealous man always pays false compliments through empty words devoid of meaning; he is master of pretensions; he knows how to play possum; he sends forwarded message on whatsapp; he will never send self-written message or call you up personally. Just to ingratiate himself, he visits hospital if you are admitted there. He conveys his condolence and does attend funeral. If invited he does attend weddings. With an eye on food and arrangement, he is more interested in observing the political and social clout of the host than the blessings to newly weds.

A jealous man hates to see you more happy and successful than him. However, he pretends otherwise. If you tell him about your some achievements, he will try to belittle your success by giving false examples. On the contrary, he will boast about his success and exaggerate it to stoke your envy. On social media – facebook / watsapp/ Instagram, he will seldom like your post of some achievement; even if he comments, he comments through ‘emoji’. If you keep posting the posts of your ‘success’, he will block you.

Psychologists contend that specific gesture and posture do debunk a jealous man. In sitting posture, he often tends to cross his legs. He is anxious to compete with the known people above his status. That is why the most of the people are unhappy because of the happiness and progress of their neighbors. The awkward predicament and problems of the neighbor pleases such people. A jealous man is a copy cat; he imitates the style of renowned people; he often spouts mugged up proverbs; he often speaks up the crammed quotations of famous personalities to show off his ‘knowledge.’

Needless to say, jealousy sickens self like diabetes, it corrodes the society like rust; it eats away a country like termites. Commenting on this deadly silent killer jealousy, Swami Vivekananda says:

“Jealousy is a national sin in India”

Beware of Jealousy!